Training Week

After settling into South Korea, getting my bearings, and then immediately losing them again because soju is ₩1500 (about $1.50) and ~2 liters of beer is ₩4000 (about 4 bucks). A bunch of us had the idea that training was going to be a breeze. 

After the first day of training we maintained this perspective.  First day's training mostly involved orientation. A bunch of us sitting in a room as one of the staff explained stuff about Chungdahm, how the classes work, reminded us to do our online training, etcetera.  Seemed like cake.  So we celebrated by gathering a bunch of trainees together and going to the Coex Mall for dinner and generally lazying about.

The mall was a pretty decent sight.  Well put together, nice fountains and rest areas, attached to a ritzy hotel. Good food to be had there as well.  A bunch of us were walking out of a random pharmacy when some foreigners dashed right at us.  Two attractive-esque (let's face it, quite skanky, actually) girls tackled us with questions about what there was to do here. In Seoul. The biggest city in the nation.  Apparently they had come from Jamaica (neither of them looked the part) with help from the Jamaican mafia in order to see an Eminem concert (yep) and now they were bored. Not from the area ourselves and only having had two days to explore the city, we had nothing.  Our response? "Drink".

Their response was that they didn't drink... but they had a whole bunch of alcohol. A laundry basket full of alcohol that some guy pushed on them despite their urgings that they don't get drunk.  And did we want it?  Because, if we could help them find their hotel, we could have it.

Now kids, step back for a second here.  Think about what your parents taught you. The good kind of parents, not the ones that shouldn't have had kids.  They tell you not to accept candy from strangers.  And this is good advice, follow it. Follow it your whole life.  But as you get older, learn to use discretion.  I've accepted candy from strangers at the mall who were giving out free samples, friends' parents I'd just met,  other college students on campus.  Not a big deal.  But a couple of girls with shady stories, claiming to be in with the mafia, staying in a hotel they don't know the location of, offering to give you free booze if you followed them back to their hotel room?  That's one of the worst case scenarios that your parents were afraid of when that candy advice came up.

So naturally myself (and a friend from training) decided to be impromptu tour guides for these two strangers.

We had gotten a glimpse of the hotel they were staying at when we came off the subway (the Internation something or other), and trekked our way in the direction we thought it was in, the whole time listening to these girls tell stories about their trip (apparently they frequently get turned away from taxis), and stopping every few feet so they could harass a random local with questions worded loudly in English.  Obviously we were in the presence of noble ladies of a high caliber (see: firearms).  The hotel itself. was. gorgeous.  Everything was gold plated and immaculate, gleaming and clean, and smelled pleasant. There were fresh potpourris laid out on scattered tables, and the hotel staff was dressed properly.  There was even a lawyers' convention taking place in the main room (that the girls we were with attempted to sneak us into for... some...reason).  By all appearances, this posh inn was the top of the top, which indicated that we were either quite secure in our journey, or this was the place that rich tourists go to cover up murders, trade drugs, and perform kidnappings and extortions.

In a rather uneventful manner, we hurried the girls up to their room, and in return they thrust a green laundry basket filled to the top with expensive liquors and then thanked us and sent us on our way.  I-I mean we had sex with them! Just... just loads of it. It was fantastic. And then we rappelled out a window. Like in Die Hard or something.  But really, in the end, we had a laundry basket... full of liquor.

We made our way back to the group we had abandoned fully triumphant in our quest (after hurrying out of the hotel in case it had all been stolen/someone was trailing us afterwards), and our traveling companions were....disappointed that we weren't murdered, or drugged, or at least charged an absurd amount of cash for taking up the time of high class hookers, and then getting stained with an STD.  What good friends I'd made.  Understandably though, they just were upset that we were rewarded for our foolishness instead of being punished for being idiots, as we rightfully should have been. I'll just claim optimism about trusting our fellow man, and look down upon my friends for slandering the good name of two quite reputable women of their word. The nerve, really.

After our adventure, we went back to 1405 in our hotel, drank some of the booze, and readied ourself for training the next morning.

Training

The next day training started for real.

It was clear that none of us were prepared for it.

To explain the matters in short, there are roughly three days of actual training. Monday is orientation, Wednesday-Thursday are the brief training sessions, and Friday is testing. They're cramming what should amount to a week or two of preparation into three days of training broken down between two instructors over 4-6 hours a day.  We don't teach English, per se, we teach method.  What this means is that we teach the kids how to find the answers, not understand them, because that's how the Korean school system is designed.  Our school does make some efforts toward actual integration with vocab, and some grammar help, which is more than some of the schools do, but less than is needed.  They're trying to get us to memorize and understand the teaching method for two different types of classes, gauge us as teachers and fix our faults, or at least address them, and educate us on the class structure and material in preparation for our first day of class.  The first day of training went miserably, and all of us realized we'd need to buckle down and properly study the material to prepare for the second day of training.

So that night I went out drinking with some other trainees.  Just a handful of us barhopped for a bit, and a smaller handful of us wound up in a great bar I'd recommend called 'Self Bar' in Gangnam.  It's a little hole in the wall (ground really, it's downstairs) and it's called Self Bar because you just... you serve yourself.  There is a fridge with beer in it, and you grab beer and pay at the end of the night.  There's a bartender there to get you food and cocktails if you need them. It cost a bit less and was a good atmosphere.

Afterwards, because we didn't understand this whole 'training is tomorrow thing' apparently, we went to 'norebang', Korean karaoke.  It was a super cheap place right next door, and the owner was quite friendly. Unfortunately the microphone had a horrid echo effect we couldn't figure out how to turn off, but we solved that by exclusively singing 90's songs. Also, the English selection was exclusively 90's songs, so hey.  Afterwards we ran home drunk in an absolute downpour, stripped down, and waited for the next day to happen.

The next day happened.  Everyone did miserable in training again.  Slightly less miserable, but we still were confused with the takeaway. None of us were really quite sure what we were learning.  Study sessions were decided upon, and people got together and mock-taught each other until we thought we had it figured out.  For myself, at least, it didn't really click until the next day's classes. The next day was primarily fine tuning for people...although everybody in the program had reported of 'this one person in my class just... I don't think they're going to pass the training' which was a terrifying insecurity a whole lot of us had, because not passing training meant buying our own ticket home.  Also that whole 'disappointment' and 'not having a job' thing wouldn't help matters much.

Testing ended up not being so bad.  We had learned as much as we were going to, and had notes to rely on. My class structure is essentially 'wing-it' (even, and especially to where I am now) so I was quite relaxed, and was mostly thrown by other peoples' performances.  After everyone had done their tests, we were all seated in our rooms and told to wait for staff to come in with good or bad news.

I haven't been able to get an accurate count. I asked around and nobody was certain about anything.  I kept telling people I failed because that's just the kind of guy I am (hilarious) so I got a few apologetic 'I'm sorry's until I revealed 'I'm kidding'.  If anybody failed, officially, I didn't hear about it.  But from stories I'd heard of what went on in some classes, maybe not everybody was prepared enough to get a pass... but did anyways.  The branches are desperate for new blood, and to be honest the trial by fire of having your first class does better to prepare you than the training does.  

That said,  The training could do with some lengthening. The instructors were great and did their best with the time they had, no issues there.  But the training itself could use a full week, if not two weeks, to prepare the new teachers, although understandably putting trainees up in a hotel for two weeks would be...quite costly, so that's most likely the issue there. The other argument I'd make is that the program could do with a quick 'celebration gathering'.  Just...something.  Cheese and crackers. A pizza. Anything after the final testing. Something to just say goodbye and good luck to everyone you'd just spent a harrowing week with.  Instead we're ushered nervously out of the rooms, quickly gotten to sign a contract for our new jobs, hurried into cabs with Korean drivers who don't really speak much in the way of English, and tossed on a train or a bus to go on a lengthy ride across the country to a place we're unfamiliar with.  It's all a whole bunch of stress with no uplift, and it does a lot to make you feel more alone in a country you've barely arrived in.

Luckily I had company for my four-and-a-half hour bus ride to the opposite end of the country. A tall Canadian girl who made for good conversation and had a bubbly personality and may walk into this room at any moment, because I'm typing this at work and we work together (she is a doof, but in a good way).  When we made it in we were met at the station by our new boss, our secretary, and a few of our coteachers.  She went off to her new apartment, and I was crammed into a tiny (love?) motel for the next week. Free of charge, though!  Also, my new boss bought me hot meat buns from Dunkin' Donuts. Which were pretty great, honestly.

I marked my address and took a picture of the building with my now almost-useless US smartphone, and wandered around a few city blocks, taking in the sights of my new city before ultimately wandering back, too tired and unfamiliar to really do anything with the night, and fell asleep with the tv on.

The next day would be the first day of the rest of my...year.