The 7 Things I Hate About You (Japan)

/Intiate copout routine alpha gamma sigma.
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I figure I've only got a few days left here, so what isn't spent saying tearful goodbyes is spent packing and preparing to leave. When I do manage to travel I'll blog about that, but mostly it's just filler blog.

So here's a list of seven things that I just never managed to get over in my stay in Japan.

1. The ATMs close - This should be self explanatory, but I'll emphasize. The ATM's for the most part are only open from 8/10 am-6pm, depending on the company running it. On a busy day, or a day where you're just being too lazy, this can ensure that you never reach it in time. It also creates that dead period in the evening where there is no way to get money if you spend more than you intended, and it will leave you running around bored out of your mind unless your friends are generous enough to loan you some cash. This has happened enough times to be a severe irritant, and I think when I come home I'm only going to withdraw money at 1am for a whole month just to feel alive. Or something.

2. Walking - This is not in the sense that you need to walk anywhere. I don't mind that, and bicycles, trains, and buses are also an option so you don't need to walk everywhere if you don't feel like it. It's the fact that people here seem to have no sense of spatial awareness when they're navigating on foot. Cell phones are the most important aspect of the life of a Japanese teen, and they'll stand around blocking passageways as they send e-mails, take photos, or attach a string to it and pretend it's a yoyo. Anything to not move out of the way. There also seems to be no code of conduct for walking around. If you don't move out of the way people will actually just walk right into you and then give you a shocked look, instead of moving themselves. Then on the complete flipside of the coin they'll get upset waiting for you to cross their path and motion angrily as they stand in place. I've seen Japanese students push other students out of their path as they walk (especially guys pushing girls) and it's not a one time occurence. There is also the fact that the flow of traffic is different regionally all over Japan. In Tokyo it's on the left, but in the Kansai region it's on the right, and it switches wherever you go. So Japan being as small as it is, that ensures that there are tons of people from all over Japan all in the same places frequently, which obfuscates the flow of traffic wherever you are. Hurrah!

3. Irashaimase! - The politeness. UGH. This might just be a personal thing, but I cannot stand how "polite" everyone here is. It's a superficial business polite but it's everyone. Classmates are polite, teachers are polite, store and construction workers are polite, it's aggravating. It's almots a hivemind. People will shout "irashaimase!" (welcome) in unison the second you walk into a store, and every time you pass them. Clerks will apologize repeatedly for taking too long with whatever they're doing for you, despite the fact that this makes it take longer, or even if it didn't take long. It's such a cold, rote, etiquette that it gets under my skin. I've been telling people that I can't wait to get back to Buffalo where people will be rude to me.

4. Beauracracy - You know how you hate going to the DMV, because it takes forever, and by the time you get to the end of the line you find out that you filled out the forms wrong, and/or in the wrong order, and instead of just letting you correct it you need to start all over again? Well all of Japan is like that. For example, it took me four hours when I needed to get a cell phone. This involved them copying down my bank number, me paying for it, and them activating it. Which took four hours.

5. Amazing Gaijin Prowess! - Every time you do something that Japanese and/or other East Asian people do in their everyday lives, it absolutely floors them. You can use chopsticks? HOLY SHIT you must be some sort of gifted super child. You know how to say thank you in Japanese? The miracles never cease! Basically anything that you could learn from eating Asian food in America they wouldn't expect you to be capable of for some reason.

6. Oshare or death! - Fashion is the lifeblood of young Japanese people. The majority of them would rather be dead than not look good. This includes the men, or what would be men if there were any of them left in Japan. The day I saw a Japanese guy in a public restroom with a fold-out make-up and hair studio that he pulled from his studded leather man purse is the day I realized Japanese masculinity is an endangered concept. One of my friends was riding his motorbike to school in a sleeveless shirt, a light, open jacket, jean, and shoes with no socks in the middle of winter. I asked him why he didn't dress warmer cause he looked like he was freezing his balls off, and his response was that he wouldn't look cool then. GAH.

7. Japanese School - You've probably heard of cram schools. A school after school for those that want to excel. They have those in Japan, and it's a frequent occurence to attend them, probably to compensate for the lack of education in regular school. The fact that so many kids attend them just to pass their normal classes means either the standards are too high, or the teachers aren't teaching properly, and from my time here I can tell you it's definitely not the standards. Pretty much anything taught in class is done so directly from the textbook with no outside thought. Things are not explained in depth and sometimes they aren't explained at all. There is an emphasis on groupwork because Japan is a society based on the concept of teamwork. Unfortunately, the emphasis toward that prevents any actual learning progress from taking place in the classroom, so what you should have learned in class instead needs to be studied by yourself on your own time. But who would want to study more after you've already been in class for 6 hours and didn't learn anything, or in the case of cram school students that have been in class for 10 hours, now with double the homework load, in addition to studying what should have been covered in class. Pretty well off, isn't it?

And that's all she wrote. Tomorrow we'll see if I can scrounge up 7 things I liked.
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I don't want to set the world on fire

I just want to start a flame in your heart.

So yes, past few days I have been absent from the blog. Apologies, but it was final exams and the first day of vacation, so it's been nice.

Aside from studying, taking exams, playing Fallout 3, and awkward last suppers with departing friends, not much has been going on worth mentioning.

I did, yesterday, hang out with a group of Japanese highschool girls. It's not as creepy as all that, I promise. My friends were leading a tour group and asked me to help them out and talk to them, because apparently they were on campus to practice their English. It was far more amusing than it should have been, because the three of us could say whatever we wanted as long as we said it at native spead and the girls had absolutely no idea what we said, but would nod and laugh at things regardless. Oh ho ho. Also we taught them LOVE AND PEACE , "Sugar Daddy", and my one friend tried to convince them that otakus are the coolest people in the world (otaku meaning super loser geeklings, for you uninitiated). Also they said my facial hair was "kakkoi (cool)" so I guess that's a good thing. And one of them asked me how often I need to shave. Apparently there is a word for razor that is "nori". Nori also means seaweed paper. So when she asked me I got really confused and thought she was asking if I applied seaweed paper to my face.

Oh language barriers. You are ever so amusing.

One of the guys on the floor wants us to go downtown as a last farewell tomorrow. I need to cancel my phone tomorrow so hopefully I somehow can meet up with them after that. Otherwise I'll end up missing out, and that would be upsetting.

After that, I think maybe this weekend I'll go to Yufuin with a friend or two if any are left. Then I plan on hitting the train station a couple of times and going as far as 500 yen will take me, just to see random cities for the hell of it. Then I'm pretty much out of time. I mean really, I have 7 days left in the city before I go to Fukuoka. So things are kind of rushed. Phooey on the semester lasting this long, but I guess if it had ended earlier I would have rushed home for Canal Fest like a fool.

Ah well, there's always next year's souvlaki.

Tabesugimashita...

The barbecue was today!

It was a lot of fun.

We went to the train station at about noon and rode to Oita, from where Shingo picked us up and drove us to his parents' house. And there was a pile of food on the grill there for us. Also, the barbecue was apparently a small party. There were the three of us, Shingo's parents, his sister, and a few of his dad's friends and their wives.

The food was really good (aside from the arbitrary shellfish. Apparently it's expensive and I felt bad for not liking it, but not bad enough to eat more) but they kept insisting we ate more. And more. And more. My jaw hurt from chewing and my stomach was more than full, but they insisted "You can eat more. Your stomach only 1/3 full." I'm not sure what kind of alien logic they were running on, but it was definitely about 4/3 full at that point. And on top of that we had to politely not refuse dessert.

So basically, you go to a Japanese person's house, you're going to get fed. And there is absolutely no way out of it.

The people there were friendly and asked the usual set of questions. I also learned that dragonfly is tanbo and that the weather is unseasonably hot and wet so that's why there are so many of them all of a sudden. Also there is a Canon factory and a Toshiba factory in the city, which was apparently important to point out to me. Go figure.

Afterwards we got back to Beppu and the remnants of last night's festival (which I did not attend because it wasn't advertised on campus for some reason) were still around. Lots of people in traditional garb which is always exciting. The girls always look especially pretty in their kimonos, and I really wish I had a guy's yukata cause they look comfy. There were food vendors around still but that was about it aside from the fireworks later that night, but I've seen fireworks before and that's not big.

Besides, I still had this paper to finish!

So I came back, and finished my paper oh... not too long ago. So that's just barely done, and I submitted it online. Studying Japanese right now for the exam part 1 tomorrow, and the exam part 2 is the day after. Chances are that I'll skip a blog tomorrow to get some extra studying in, so here's your heads up.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm still digesting.

No blog today

I'm busy writing my term paper. And even then, the excuse for no blog is late! As is my custom.

Instead enjoy these Vanessa Carlton lyrics. Or you know, you can close the page at this point.



Some people live in a house on the hill
And wish they were some place else
There's nobody there
When the evening is still
Secrets with no one to tell

Some I have known have a ship where they sleep with sounds of rocks on the coast
They sail over oceans five fathoms deep
But can't find what they want the most

Even now when I'm alone
I've always known with you
I am home

Some live in towns
Cardboard shack on concrete
All bluster and bustling life
They search for the color they can never quite see
Cause it's all white on white

Even now when I'm alone
I've always known with you
I am home
[repeat]

For me it's a glance and the smile on your face the touch of your hands,
And an honest embrace
For where I lay it's you I keep,
This changing world I fall asleep
With you all I know is I'm coming home,
Coming home

Milky Way

It's sixty thousand trillion miles from one end to the other, you know.

Yeah, I'm listening to music from Animaniacs. Wanna make somethin of it?

So today was... weird. The last day of classes, woo. I showed up late because I couldn't find my textbook. I decided that I had left it in class the day before and would need to go to the security office in order to get it if somebody turned it in. Turns out one of the girls in the class saw that I left it behind and handed it to me when I walked in. Thank you Yoyo-san.

Also, the teacher was a callous wench today. She tossed my papers at me when she had stuff to hand back, refused to look at me or comment on my stuff (we were doing a board activity. AGAIN) and she didn't even call on me to answer anything (that part I kinda liked). Honestly, it's one thing for a kid to be rude to their teacher (which I wasn't. I disliked her but she's still my professor, ya know?) but there is something about being a professor that ensures that you act with a certain amount of dignity. Chrissakes woman.

Guess I should ace the final exam to show her up or something.

Also got a call from the guy running the job the other day. He can't pick us up so we need to take the train there. It's a fifteen dollar train ride. We're going to pick up our paychecks. The paycheck is only for 60 dollars. The train ride is 15 dollars each way.

Wow, how generous of them! Argh...

I also got bored of being on campus and went for a walk. And then I kept walking. And then decided to go walk down the mountain, cause I haven't done that since last semester.

So I walked.

And walked.

And walked...

And remembered how long of a walk it is.

And then I got attacked by a GIANT HORNET!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Then I ran the rest of the way down the mountain. Those things are huge, mate.

Also picked up enough groceries to last me til I leave so... that's covered.

Which is about 15 days from now, actually. So, hurrah!

Also as an aside: Sorry this blog hasn't been as exciting as it was at first. When I got here everything was fresh and new and wacky, but now that I've been here for a year things just... don't stand out as much. The scenery is still beautiful from campus, Japanese people still can't use English properly, and there are things at the store like banana protectors and breast enhancing juice drinks. But at this point I've shared enough strange foods and merchandises and complained about the brutality of 母 Nature. When unusual things crop up I try to put them in here but really . . . You live in one place long enough and it's the same as living in any other place long enough.

That's why I like traveling. Traveling allows you to see everything around you with fresh eyes. To the person that lives there that's just the am pm convenience store, but to you that's the am pm in Tokyo where you ate a pizza bun with your friends on the way back from Akihabara. That's not just some temple you pass every day on the way to work, that's a piece of culture foreign, unique, beautiful and interesting apart from the culture you come from.

I feel a need to make a distinction between "traveling" and "tourism" as well. A traveler sees everything around them. A tourist looks at them.

That's all I got for tonight. Thanks for keeping up with my crappy blog that never updated on time, was rarely interesting to read, but had some decent pictures.

Hold in there for a few more updates. The trip is almost over, and the best part is coming home, which is coming up. Countdown on the right.

Reverse the Polarity!

Then shoot right through their shields!

Today was the second to last day of class, which means tomorrow is the last day. Which means that Monday and Tuesday are the final exams, which means I will be HAPPY FOREVER.

Except today's class was lame, as it was all "group competition" charades crap. Which is never fun in class. And then the teacher made us fill out these sort of "friendship cards" where we have to write (in Japanese) memories and well wishes toward our classmates. Individually. It's irritating because I am friends with a good one person in that class, and the teacher is going around and checking them to make sure we're writing enough. Augh.

I got in and wrote a bad review of the class and the teacher on the evaluation, and included in the additional comments section that APU needs to rethink it's curriculum, so that's about the best I can do.

Other than that! Played Fallout 3 until it crashed then realized the time. As a result, missed kitchen duty, but considering nobody actually, you know, came knocking on my door (Which is lame cause the person I had it with is my neighbor) and the RA's take responsibility to make sure you're there, and it's pretty much the last week of school... I'm really not all that concerned.

Also took down the pop can wall in my room. I passed it off as a decoration, and actually now that it's gone the room does feel a lot emptier, which is strange but I guess I'd grown accustomed to it being there. Ah well.

Not so much looking forward to class tomorrow, but not much you can do about that. Also need to spend Saturday writing the paper for my other class, but after all that I'll be done.

Then it's wasting time here, and heading to Fukuoka. Speaking of which I looked into booking a room and there are only availabilities for the second day I'm there. Debating either just staying in an internet cafe again, or taking the train to some random town and staying there for the night. I already put my moving out forms in, so all I know is I gotta be out by the 7th. Should be fun.

If anyone can think of anything Japanese to do before I leave the country, gimme a shout and I'll see what I can do about it.

Therapeutic Crushing

Sorry about the lack of updates. Some such things put me into a mood foul enough to go destroy Tokyo.


You can't tell from this angle, but I'm actually on a saddle on his back.

Today was a goosfraba day.

Slept in late, which is always nice. Everyone like that.

Then I got me some lunch (Mmm-mm nanbread pizza) and hopped on the bus down to Kannawa. Found myself in the most expensive onsen that I could give (hint: They don't really get higher than 500 yen. So it's totally affordable) and was in there for a good while. I actually only intended to be in there for a good 20 minutes, but I couldn't bring a watch in with me. So I'd try counting it off in my head, but then I'd sort of drift off cause of the heat, start floating in the hot water and... and... then I'd lose track of where I was and start counting all over again. By the time I got out I had been in there for an extremely relaxing hour and a half by myself. Everything about me feels better and I wonder why I don't go to the onsen more often.

After that I walked across town to a tonkatsu restaurant, because I thought to myself "Kyle, you haven't had any real tonkatsu since you got here, just the crap in the cafeteria." and I knew I was right, so I figured I'd try it out. It was expensive, a good 1200 yen for a medium roast katsu with rice and miso soup. I could've gotten an almost unfinishable MEGA bowl of cheese gyuudon for 700 yen at Sukiya where I had almost stopped in (note: I normally get the 500 yen medium sized bowl, so yeah. . .) but it was really, REALLY good so I was glad I got it at least once before I left. Still, I'll stick to getting my katsu in curry form for the fact that it's cheaper that way (no I don't know why).

Because I wasn't done pampering myself I went to Baskin Robbins (although it's called 31 here) and got a fruit smoothie, then bought a new shirt at Uniqlo. Then I came home and got kitchen duty switched to tomorrow, cause I'm cool like that.

So all in all, a damn good day I'd say.

Since I haven't been updating, I might as well mention that this weekend was pretty good as well. Jason came in on Saturday and the first thing we did was bitch about the heat. Then I told him to meet us at the Daiso, figuring that he lived here for a good 6 months before, so he should know where it was. We went there looking for him and he was nowhere to be found, so I bought a candy filled samurai sword and we went looking for him. He was on the next block at McDonald's sitting in the window and told me I'm an idiot because there was no Daiso around there. Yeah... except for the one a block away. Smooth move, jackass (I hope you're reading this so you can relive it. AGAIN). So the ramen was delicious when we got around to eating it, and then at my insistence we went to go look at PUPPIES.

Believe it or not that was the smartest idea I've ever had.

At the place that they keep the puppies, we ran into people that we knew that were glad to see Jason while he was visiting, as well as Marcelo, whom contacted Sjors, whom was hanging out with some of his friends from Holland, whom we met up with, and then followed to Gusto and had dessert and hung out for a bit for the rest of the night.

It was pretty fun.

The following days Jason was here were spent distracting him from the paper that he needed to write by playing video games, and then playing more video games. Because what better thing to do with people that you haven't seen in months than sit in front of the idiot box beating each other up in virtual world, amirite?

Yaaaaaaaaay.