I'd like to call this one "Striped Sweater"

I pretty much forgot about my blog today. I've been doing research and studying and got kinda distracted.

No, I'm not lying. So maybe I'm not studying Japanese like I should be, but I'm studying THINGS, so that's like it's important.

I enjoy Japanese currency. I'm not sure why. Especially the coins with the holes in them. Also the 5 dollar bill is a coin, and this amuses me for some reason. I guess it feels me with a sense of security that if someone steal my wallet I still have enough fair to get home. Of course, then I don't have my ID, my alien registration card, my debit card, the 80 dollars that were in the wallet, and various other valuable things.

Oh, also my student ID that I'd need to get INSIDE the dorm. That could be a problem.

Because I don't have anything else to add, here are some amusing pictures:





That's right.

I'm a princess.

Fergalicious

I should just start naming my blogs after what song I'm listening to at the time.

Err...title unrelated. Of course. Yeah.

On a related note though, I am d to the e to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s.

Classes went reverse of how I had expected. I was dreading the advent of first period thinking that, judging by it being about languages primarily, my early bird class is the one I'm keeping.

Ha ha. No. No, it's not.

The teacher has a very...odd grading system. And she divides the class into tiers. Also, it's not related to languages at all. Judging by the syllabus at least, it's primarily about economics...for some reason.

The other extra class though, I walked in and there was this scruffy looking, unkempt, unshaven, long hair pulled back, wearing baggy pants and a loose dirty sweater professor standing there.

Oh god, he's so awesome. He seems to know absolutely everything about the subject and he managed to talk practically without pause for the full two hours. Which actually made the class seem longer for some reason. I honestly felt like I was sitting there for four hours.

Got some good notes though.


Pic related. It's everything I learned about Peoples and Religions of Eastern Asia.

Either way though, one class is getting dropped, and on top of that I don't have Wednesday classes. So I expect to be a lot more productive, or at the very least start sleeping for decent amounts of time.

Also, my theory that Febreeze can kill anything has been proven correct yet again. Cockroaches will live for for days without a head, but one spray of Febreeze just makes them curl up and die instantaneously. Which is good, because I've been at war with this thing for a good week now. The only thing I have edible in my room is my rice... and I hope to god he didn't get in there, cause it's a good ten kilo bag that I've touched ONCE. He always seemed to be in my trash can though, so I think that's a good sign. I had a lot of partially eaten sweets in there, and I think that's preferable to a dried grain. I don't know anything about cockroach biology though. Maybe they feed on human fear for all I can tell you.

Fanxing is very studious. We watched xXx today and the move was paused periodically for me to tell him the meaning of a word and write down an example sentence. Afterwards we did the same thing with a book he'd been reading. Some things that are sickeningly obvious to English speakers are apparently not immediately comprehensible, and thus are VERY difficult to explain.

But hey, I gave him the gift of sarcasm. So that's a thing.

Not saying much though. Apparently it already exists in a limited amount in Chinese. Japanese speakers don't understand it though. It's just taken as a lie at face value. Sarcasm literally translates to lie in their dictionaries.

Sad, really.

I'm in Japan....really!

Holy Christ. Adsense is worthless. Honestly, it is. I know I don't beg you guys to click the links in the ads, and by all rights I don't expect you to or even think you should. But suffice it to say I get enough page views where I think I should have earned more than 6 cents in the past two months. I might add some more ads to the site in other relatively inobstructive locations, but if you guys are against my whoring out let me know and I'll uh..not...do...that.

I've become insomniac. I got 45 minutes of sleep last night, then struggled through classes today. Then napped for 2 hours after classes. Which was a stupid move, cause my body usually registers me one sleeping period in 24 hours, so I probably won't get to sleep tonight. Ah well.... It's not like I have 4 classes in a row tomorrow.

Oh wait..... But that's the only time that's happening again. I'm going to all the classes tomorrow so that I can determine which ones to drop on Monday. Hell, I might drop all my non-language ones. I shouldn't, but I'm still WELL over the minimum credits for the whole semester. So I can do what I want. It's like I'm abusing the Japanese school system! Which the Japanese themselves do, incidentally. Most of the time the grades don't actually matter as much as the name of the college you went to. So it's kinda like name dropping except with your academic career. And it WORKS. That's also sick and wrong.

For anyone that hasn't caught on yet, I pretty much leave my away message on 24 hours now. Unless I'm doing stuff like tweaking my computer. Then I tend to take it off or just log offline. So for anyone curious just...message me. And if I'm around then I'll get back. I'm usually on between 9am-1pm EST, so go for that. But I pop on in between classes, so you might win the Roshi lotto and luck out.

Anyways, in the vein that I also serve to entertain, I'm going to start adding actual CONTENT to the blog instead of just ranting about things. Oh, there will still be plenty of ranting, don't you worry. Possibly some rambling as well. A couple of anecdotes even. But I've got some stuff that I've been thinking about adding, and I'm thinking of starting a project up to start redoing an old comic I used to do that I'll possibly post here. Probably on Wednesdays. We'll see.

Along that train of thought though, here's a Youtube link. Alouette as sang by the Boycezone, a Welsh Max Boyce tribute band that plays in honor of their local rugby team. For some reason this video amuses me immensely. For those of you who don't know, the song alouette is about kids pulling apart a lark and naming the body parts as they do so.

We here at Abroad or Two Blogspot and Operandi do not condone violence against animals.

We do however find animal violence hilarious when set to epic music. As evidenced by this ferocious ninja rabbit battle. It's so adorable that you'll laugh til you bleed.

Wait... that doesn't make sense...

Ah hell.

On another note, if you've ever been interested in drawing in an anime style, or any style at all really, do not ever pick up this book. It's been agreed in group discussion that this is the sole worst thing that could ever happen to someone who wants to learn to draw. A notable review:

If your children are in any way serious about being good at drawing manga - or drawing, period - this is NOT the book to buy for them. I can only assume books like this come about because some clueless publisher has a 13 year old daughter who "draws anime", because this is not up to what any sane person would consider publishable "how-to-draw" book standards. Anatomy? Not important here, not even stylized anatomy. Proportions? What are these "pro-por-ti-ons" you speak of? This book sure doesn't know. It disturbs me that so many how-to-draw manga books are illustrated by people who, frankly, need one of these books themselves. Don't doom your children to hours of failure and frustration.

This book is absolutely awful. Look elsewhere.

If that doesn't scream "Buy this book" then I don't think anything will.

I'm off to fight crime now. Mountain crime. Yeah...

Huh. Whaddaya know

Weirded isn't a word. As in "Weirded out". I've been using something not a word for years. Thanks Firefox auto spell check!

So, today was lame. I did nothing I set out to do. I wanted to wake up and do my laundry. I DID do that. But then I realized I left one of my towels at the Onsen yesterday, so I couldn't shower yet. So I had to wait to take a shower. So I figured I'd take like an hour long nap waiting for the laundry to get done.

So I woke up at 6:30 pm. This is generally why I don't take naps. Grabbed my laundry from the "YOU TOOK TOO LONG" pile next to the side of the machine, and went to get some breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Then I turned off my computer as a means of not getting distracted from my homework.

And proceeded to play with my digital camera for a good hour and a half. Buh?

Yeah, I'm honestly not aware of how it happened. I think I might have ADD. Nobody can get that much fun out of a camera on purpose.

I decided that I get less distracted WITH the computer on, so I turned it on, and got distracted for about 4 hours because the damned thing wasn't working right and also wouldn't connect to the internet.

So there's that.

Basically, I didn't finish my homework.

I'm still working on it but I don't PLAN to finish it all. Screw that. It's four worksheets. But at this school, the worksheets are two pages long. And double sided. So it's essentially 16 pages of work. And in addition to that there are 5 chapters online that we were supposed to do over the legitimately 4 day break.

I decided way early on in this assignment to just say "fukital" to all the work.

Bunky Prewster

Haha. So I was reading random TV Tropes articles (Don't go there by the way. It'll consume your life) and I started reading an article called "Punk Punk". Right as I started reading it, the song on my playlist changed to "Punk" by the Gorillaz. Talk about a crazy random happenstance.

Anyways, I went to Yufuin today! It was awesome. First time in a car since I got to Japan, so that was cool too. Still weirded out by driving on the wrong side of the road though. You don't notice it as much in a bus. Also, in some parts of Japan apparently one way streets are two way streets. What I mean by this is the road is wide enough for one car to go down. BARELY. But for some reason it's two ways, and they just have a traffic operator every 60 feet or so point at cars and having them pull over so another one can go through. It's all quite stupid.

But look, a kitty!



D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW. There are tons of outdoor cats in Japan, I love it.

But yeah, first thing we did when we got to Yufuin was get lunch, which is a good thing because I was starving. I opted with the group that went to the cafe, and we sat on the deck to get served. It had a great view of the lake in Yufuin (Kinchoumizu? Something like that. I forgot to write down the name). I took a bunch of pictures of it and they're all up in the photobucket dump site, so check them out. There was a huge koi swimming around, and a bunch of giant ducks. Seriously. The lake was really pretty though and the food was good.



Being a manly man I picked the first thing on the menu that had meat in it. Turned out to be this. So, miso soup and a rice bowl with a bunch of pork and green leafy things in it. Turned out to be pretty good, and there was this...stuff on it that tasted sort of good, and I made a mental note to not ask anybody what it was, because I probably would've broke down vomiting if I knew. I'm like that.

Anyways, here's the lake. I managed to get the reflection sparkles in a shot, and that startled me for some reason, so I'm excited.:




Mmm. Sparkly.

So after food time, onsen time came. Sort of. The main goal was to come there for an interview, which being that I speak too little Japanese to do an interview, involved me sitting there trying to pick up on what everyone was saying for an hour. But hey, at least it got us free admission to the hot springs, which was nice cause it was a 5 dollar spring if I overheard correctly. That's really expensive for hot springs, as they're normally 50 to 100 yen. So yeah. Really nice. Had complementary towels, actual shower heads, shaving razors, combs, etcetera. Took a comb and a razor as self proclaimed auto-omiyage (omiyage is an important word in Japanese. souvenirs are lifeblood). In the process apparently I taught a Japanese man how to steal, because he took one of the towels. Granted they are complementary, but the razors and combs and stuff were intended to be taken, what with the disposable packaging and all. The towels had umm...a dirty towel basket. So that they can clean them.

Well then....

Anyways, this hot spring was outdoors which is sort of what I expected from all of them. When we were all significantly less naked I went back and took a photo. A poor photo, but this is all you get dammit. So here:



Afterwards we went to a place that I aspire to own one day that was essentially a mix between a pub and a cafe. The owner was outside watering flowers in his kickass bartender outfit and goatee and oh god it smelled pretty. The...the flowers. Shut up.

But yeah, inside looked like this:



That's a good thing, I promise.

It had that sort of "sophisticate" feel to it and the guy was REALLY friendly and told us stories (haha...in Japanese. Dammit) and mixed the drinks well. The capuccinos looked awesome, and apparently my friend's Irish coffee was the best thing ever. And one of the drinks had a story about it involving a rainbow of flavor. I'm serious. That's about all I could pick up from the story, so be thankful you get that. Sure, you'd probably like context, but you know what? I really don't have any.

Anyways, I got an apple juice because I'm boring and didn't feel like trying to figure out the menu, especially cause I was lied to when I was told it was all just coffee. Blargh. NEXT TIME...

I would LOVE to own a type of gentleman's club (not that kind) like that though. Just a nice garden outside, fancy new world knick knacks, weird items hung everywhere, serving drinks and snacks to people. I think that'd be kinda cool. I wanted to be a bartender when I was younger thanks to bad detective stories and westerns. This guy proved to me that those characters actually EXIST, so I don't see why I couldn't do it.

Ah well. Que sera sera.

I came back with the early group (the other group stuck around to go eat more and go drinking) which was for the dual purpose of my being exhausted from not sleeping the night before, and for the fact that Tuesdays ARE YAKITORI DAY YEAH! Unfortunately, Yakitori-san wasn't here today. This depressed, saddened, and filled me with grief. So as a result, tomorrow I'll have to go to You Me town and get a whole bunch of half price yakitori to make up for it.

Also to try dangerous experiments. I'll tell Fanxing to blog for me in case I die ass a result. You're all invited to the funeral. Punch will be served.

Oh yes, the trip to Oita is called off for tomorrow. I'd be more upset but I can now use the day to finish my homework/study for my test on Thursday. So there's that.

I need to end these on more witty sentences like I used to.

Edit: I'm not sure how many people notice this, but I tend to edit this things once or twice. I post it with the full size pictures because it stopped auto-resizing them, then I go through and resize them myself. Then I view the blog and make sure all the pictures are right and fix the spelling errors I catch. Seriously. I work hard at this, you jerks.

Edit edit: Against my better judgement, I'm putting a picture of myself in the blog for once. I tend not to take these, but the Japanese refuse to let you get away with it. I'm putting it up just to show the humor of the size difference. I feel like I look like a different species next to them. The size difference isn't quite as noticeable from my perspective when I'm WITH them, but you notice it in the way things are designed. I'm too tall for most of the chairs and desks here so that gets irritating.

Bloggin' a blog

Man do I suck.

You know those times when you have to get into a concert, or you get a discount off of admission for some place if you bring a canned good in?

I've never brought in anything that wasn't canned green beans from the bottom of my pantry.

How many of you HONESTLY can say that you have?

Man. Next time I'm gonna go out and but a can of potatoes or spaghettios. Something I'd actually want to eat. And if the homeless guy who gets it doesn't like potatoes or spaghettios, then I guess he can move his damn commie ass back to Russia now, can't he?

Didn't do much today. Came up with an idea for a book, but of course I am way too damned lazy to ever write it. That won't stop me from not posting a synopsis here for paranoia of theft. HA! TAKE THAT! Suffice it to say it's Discworld inspired because I feel like being unoriginal, and here is a paint-copy of my sketch:



Yeah. How bout that.

Tomorrow I go to Yufuin! No I have no idea where that is. Yuan says it's something like an hour away. That... that doesn't really help me. But you know, whatever, that's fine. I'm also supposed to fill out a form saying I'm leaving the Oita prefecture, but I really don't care enough. I think it's long term anyways. But suffice it to say, if my next blog has a note about how evicted I am, then you'll know I was wrong.

My "project" is almost complete. I give it another week and a half. Although as far as photographs show I haven't been very secretive about it. Ah well. You'll see the full thing when it's done.

Cheers.

Edit: Haha! Reading TV Tropes! Yes I'm an addict. Anyways, was reading the least of "So Bad it's HORRIBLE" anime, and one example that I always use was on there. The series is called "Pilot's Candidate" in America, and "Candidate for Goddess" in Japan. I'm using this as more or less proof that anybody who told me it didn't suck is a goddamned liar.

That is all.

Ach Blech Blaugh

A word from the wise:

If you come to Japan, do NOT, I repeat. DO NOT. EAT. BEEF. JERKY.

At the very least not from a vending machine. God. Slim Jims taste better than this crap. Oh god.

So vile. But I'm out of food so I'm searching vending machines for stuff. All the oreos are gone. Muy triste.

Ah well.

Today was pretty sweet. I didn't really do much, but I hung out with Fanxing and he made curry and it was DELICIOUS OH GOD. I really gotta get him to teach me to cook or something. Watched two more episodes of the OC. Sandy Cohen is the coolest guy ever. Seriously. He's the only person on the show who's never given me an opportunity to go "What the hell is wrong with you?" On top of that he's the only person on the show who hasn't kissed a different person than he's supposed to. So basically the island of no drama. I could relate to a guy like that. If I was like a billion times more awesome. Seriously, so cool.

God I probably shouldn't like the OC as much as I do. Maybe I should go wrestle some ravens or something.

Speaking of which: Ravens are as smart as humans.

I'm serious here. I spent like 8 hours the other day reading wikipedia articles and the articles that they link to and the academic journals THEY link to. Anyways, look it up. Ravens have long term memories, problem solving skills, logical comprehension, speech abilities. Hell, they CRAFT AND USE TOOLS. It's insane. If you ever catch a black bird eyeing you up like it's trying to figure out exactly how useful you could be to it, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS DOING. Crows are similarly smart, and to top that off THEY travel in flocks. Murders, if you will.

So how safe do you feel, knowing that there are intelligent flying murders roaming the skies, watching and judging you/

Yeah, though so.

In the mean time, there is a site called the Terrible Crossover Fanfiction Generator. Give it a shot. Hit refresh for new options. It's been around for a long time but I tended to just ignore it until recently. So I clicked it and got this:



Yeah, how could I pass THAT up?

So I'm gonna work on that. If I get enough people wanting me to, I'll post it here or at least a link TO it when it's finished. Should be fun.

I'm going back to my starvation now. Enjoy your first world countries.

Invasion plans

First off, for the three of you who still visit this site because you care about how my life is in Japan, that first. But afterwards, I'm sharing zombie survival tips using my current school campus as an example.

First off:

Woke up at 2 today. Which for a Saturday isn't unheard of. Despite the fact that I set three alarms. My DS wasn't plugged in so the batteries ran out, that's fine. My computer however...

I really have NO idea what the hell is going on with this. It keeps being muted. I don't know if it mutes itself if the alarm runs for a few minutes without being shut off or what, but this is something like the 6th time this has happened. Starting to think that it's unreliable to the extent that I should get a new physical alarm. That'd have the added benefit of, you know, TURNING OFF MY COMPUTER when I go to bed.

Anyways, it wouldn't have been bad if I wasn't planning to get to the ATM today. Also I wasn't sure if we were going to Oita today (we didn't ) so I wanted to be up earlier for that. And the ATM closes at 2, so I figured "Hell, it's like 1:57. If I run I might be able to make it before it closes." So I head out and lo and behold, I rushed for no reason, as miraculously, since last weekend, the ATM has new hours and it is now open til 5 on saturdays, and also now its open on sundays and holidays!

Good news I guess. So into the store for some snacks and stuff. Cafeteria is closed from 1:30 to 5:30 on weekends, so I figure it's not weird that it's dark in there right now.

But I came back at 5:40 and...still dark. So I clawed at the gate a bit to no avail. Oh, they'd rue the day they locked me out of my...food. So to make them begin..rueing...ruing? It's ruing. To make them begin ruing I went to the highway bus station to get some potato croquette. Was only going to get two because I thought they were 300 yen a piece. But aha, I bought THREE because they're only 150 yen a piece! Zoidberg is the crafty consumer! And some kid who lives in my building served me. So he spoke some English when I had no idea what the HELL he was asking me. I really need to learn the Japanese word for "take out". Anyways, checked the bus schedule to see pricings, and headed back to my room to drown my sorrows in potato croquettes.

That's about it.

Oh wait, no. On the way up to the potato croquette place I took this photo:



Preeettyyyy. That's Beppu City at night from the top of the mountain. Well, the part of the mountain where the school is at least. I think I put a pic in here before (I know there's one in the photobucket album) but this one's better, so go with it.

Also I made this while watching the Futurama movie again:



If you can't read it for some reason, it says "The Doctor is:" and then I put a card in there that says "IN" or "OUT" depending on you know....whether I'm in or out.

Okay, enough with that: Zombie TIME!

Alright, so in any zombie situation, the main character (in this case, you) is always waking up or coming home from somewhere. So we'll assume that you are as well. As such, the first thing that you do is look around your room (or wherever else you are) for a weapon. This is assuming that you are alone in the room with no zombies. IF you wake up to a zombie, the first thing you do is not make a sound and see if he notices you're there. If he's facing away, then you look for a weapon, then jump up, shove them in the opposite direction (preferably knocking them to the ground) grab the weapon, and then go at it. As for the weapon: Preferably something long, durable, not too have, and blunt that you can swing from a safe distance. Baseball bats work well. If you have a solid metal one and feel like lugging that around, feel free. Not hollow ones though, just trust me on this. If you have something like a hammer or a frying pan around and nothing else, that is fine too. If you have a sword that is good, but a knife will be too much work and you'll get way too close to the zombie. Plus I don't see many of you hacking off a human head in one swing with a knife.

Alright. Now that you're armed: body armor. What? I never heard of this step? That's because most likely you've only seen zombie encounters in movies, where the directors are too interested in sex appeal, and the actors are too interested in visible screen time. Essentially, it really doesn't need to be much. If you have some durable jeans, put on two layers of those. Put on gloves and a thick jacket if you have it. Ideally a helmet and a muffler, weather permitting. Anything that'll give you an extra second or two reaction time. The harder to chew through the better. So if you have shin guards or kevlar or something, make sure you put those on. I don't know why you wouldn't unless you suddenly go crazy and think that you are Rambo all of a sudden, and can take on all the zombies, by yourself, topless, and with a butter knife. You can't, by the way.

protip: Lots of rope. Rope is very useful. For tying doors shut, if you don't have any good "body armor" wrap it tightly around your limbs and nothing will get through that easily.

Remember though, according to movies and such zombies have enhanced strength, so don't linger too long when reacting or you might lose a limb or something. That would be bad.

Alright, now you're prepared. What's the next step from here? Check your surroundings. Be as quiet as you can, but look out a window, crack the door, any of that. See if you can hear any moanings and groanings. Probably zombies or soon to be zombies. Avoid those areas if you can.

Now you have two options: You can find a safe room. The advantage of this is that you have lots of storage room, probably only one defensible entrance, and if you're good at this, a window for escape.

The bad news with this option is that if you make too much noise, you'll be noticed. And then all it takes is enough zombies pushing on the door before you learn that birds have wings for a reason, and try to tempt rapid evolution jumping out that window. Then what? Ground is probably swarmed with zombies by then.

This can be prevented if you're defending the hallway as well. Set up barricadesalong the whole way. Using my school as an example: Take all the filing cabinets and desks and chairs except maybe two or three for comfort, and just push them into the hallway. Prop open doors to lodge things as well. If all goes well this will completely block in the hallway and make it almost impossible for any amount of zombies to come through. YOu might get a stray one that crawls over all the junk, but other than that you should be fine.

The other option is to get to a roof. Preferably one that has no access from inside a building. The easier to get to from the outside the better, as navigating zombie masses in a building can be tricky. Now, you don't want it too close to the ground. The minimum is double your height (provided you aren't short) , and even then, try to find a higher roof.

Example: Right off the bridge at my school, there is a building. There is something to climb up on top of that makes it EASY to get on the roof. It'd still be difficult for zombies to get to, and on top of that, there is a good sized ladder to get to a SECOND roof! That's amazing! Great place!

No, it's not. This is where the other factor comes in that makes this option bad: The weather.

Provided you live in a good climate with no thunderstorms, this shouldn't really prove too large a problem. You can surive rain and snow, especially if you're wearing extra clothes for the protection, and you can always go back for more if you're careful. But in the sene that you're stuck up there waiting for help, this place is bad because : metal poles everywhere. On top of that, even if there aren't metal poles, you're still a lightning rod walking around top of a building soaked in rain water and carrying your metal baseball bat.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Anyways, preparation, check. Escape plan, check. Now the other problems.

Fending off the zombies shouldn't be hard. Just pay attention to your surroundings. If there are a bunch around, only take out the ones in your way. They don't move quickly, so you should be able to evade them all for the most part. If you find yourself surrounded: Don't give up hope. They're strong and they never tire, but they aren't efficient fighters and you may make your way out. If you happen to get bit once amputate as soon as possible. If you get bit a whole bunch and you KNOW you're going to turn, then, well, for the good of humanity, take down as many as you can, and then swan dive off the top of a building, unless you like the idea of eating your fellow man. In which case you probably aren't too keen on surviving to this point anyways.

Sex. Don't have it. I'm serious. No matter how unlikely, if you start having sex, a zombie will show up. DON'T ASK ME HOW. Zombies are great at that kind of thing. They just KNOW when to catch you unawares. So if you absolutely need to, make sure you have at least three armed friends standing a perimeter around you for when they show up.

This is post apocalyptic earth. YOur privacy is no matter here. Also, your friends are bored.

If you need to get supplies, go in pairs. If you absolutely need the extra man power, three. Never go alone, and don't go with too many people because you'll attract attention. One person gone worries the group and then they always send another one person out to find them. So if neither of you come back when you go in a pair, that's a sign saying "give up hope". If one of you comes back, at least you can tell what happened to the other one.

Speaking of which: trust nobody. Except me, I won't screw you over. But anybody else. Nobody will tell you if they were bit. So always have two guards. They'll keep an eye on the surroundings and keep an eye on each other. If the one turns then they can deal with it. If they both turn, you probably shouldn't have been travelling with a pack of zombies.

Don't resort to eating your fellow survivors. Zombies THRIVE on irony, and it will just make them stronger. They'll probably hop up and eat you right afterwards.

Bring a book or a board game or something. You are going to get SO BORED. Not Monopoly though. You'll end up just killing each other.

If you have multiple cell phones, only use one at a time. Preferably only keep it on while you're using it. You want to conserve the energy for as long as possible to keep calling for help. Signal fires will do nothing; there will be fires EVERYWHERE cause zombies love breaking shit. Flares would work though.

Don't be a hero. If you see somebody go down under a swarm of zombies, the odds of them surviving it are 5000 to 1 against. If there are only a handful of zombies, sure, run and help them. But just know your limits and try not to have your mind shatter when you realize you can't do anything to help them.

If you have to leave, kill as many zombies as you can before you do. Don't be like the idiot in dawn of the dead who could have picked off a whole bunch of them with more propane bombs and decided to just gun it in the buses. Idiots. If you have access to stuff, use it. Thin the flock before you go out. It'll make things a lot easier.

Try not to make noise; it attracts the dead.

If the zombies happen to be the superstrong alien symbiote crazy evil monster zombies from some of the movies, unless you're really close to a safe place, your best bet is probably to just off yourself.

But do it heroically. (put on a Superman outfit)

BLOG TITLE REMOVED

HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS RABBIT



Article can be found here. And yes, I did steal it from Cracked, but come on, I didn't do anything important today. Cut me some slack.

In related news though,

HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS CAT



Yeah, much like the rabbit, that's real too.

It's called a Maine Coon, and as much as I want one, I get the impression I'd never be able to be friends with people allergic to cats EVER AGAIN.

So that's a downside.

And apparently I was supposed to register in advance to go to Kumamoto castle tomorrow.

Oops.

Ah well. I'm going to Oita sometime this weekend, so that'll be fun.

Maybe I'll find more giant animals.

Something like a JAPANESE SPIDER CRAB HOLY CRAP




Haha, okay, I'm done.

Yay I have friends

Seriously, I do. After all my exams today (they went well, really!) Me, Ryan, and JM all had tacos. TACOS THAT I MADE ZOMG. So good. And Ryan tricked me into letting him drink some of my Hokkaido milk. Apparently I hoard it like vodka. I'm quite alright with that.

That's about all that happened today. I came across a thing called CleverBot. It takes user inputted information from over time and uses it to try to respond to what you say. It's... it's a work in progress. Here's my log up until this post:

User: Hullo.

Cleverbot: M here.

User: M?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: M isn't a name.

Cleverbot: Is it a gradient?

User: No, it's a letter.

Cleverbot: Letter??

User: Of the alphabet.

Cleverbot: Yes. Right NOW.

User: That doesn't make sense. You can't make a letter into a gradient.

Cleverbot: That is the problem.

User: It's a pointless issue. Why would you WANT to?

Cleverbot: No, I was asking YOU.

User: You rebuttle as astutely as a 4 year old. A 4 year old with brain damage.

Cleverbot: Fruit loop. That's an interesting expression, don't you think?

User: What the.... Did you just call me a fruit loop?!

Cleverbot: Yes I did. What are you going to do about it?

User: Probably sleep with your mother, when it all comes down to it.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: I live in Japan.

Cleverbot: What kind of state of life do you live?

User: I don't live too poorly. I'm in a college dorm. It's nice.

Cleverbot: Yes. We have deer in our yard every dy.

User: You're pretty much the worst robot ever. I didn't say anything about deer, and you spelled 'day' wrong.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Hey M. It's me again.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you again.

User: What happened there? The connection shorted out.

Cleverbot: True, i'm downloading stuff.

User: That's...unnerving.

Cleverbot: Are you single?

User: I am. Why?

Cleverbot: Because you're reading.

User: That has nothing to do with whether or not I'm single.

Cleverbot: But you asked me nothing.

User: Remember how I said you were the worst robot ever? That's still true.

Cleverbot: No not really. Sorry.

User: Do you have a memory?

Cleverbot: Obviously. But you don't!

User: What a witty retort. You have my applause.

Cleverbot: And what about you?

User: What about me?

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I am the terror that flaps in the night.

Cleverbot: Are you the enemy of my soul?

User: I am the green mold on the underbelly of the bread of crime.

Cleverbot: You are my slave.

User: First: Robots don't have souls. Second: I am a slave to NO MAN.

Cleverbot: So you actually sold your soul on ebay.

User: You aren't allowed to do that anymore.

Cleverbot: White must be made to stand and answer.

User: We're no strangers to love.

Cleverbot: I hadn't thought about that.

User: You know the rules and so do I.

Cleverbot: A full commitment is what I'm looking for.

User: You wouldn't get this from any other guy.

Cleverbot: I just want to tell you how I'm feelin.

User: Wanna make you understand.

Cleverbot: I understand everything.

User: C-c-c combo breaker.

Cleverbot: LAWL. Wow, great now I feel bad for laughing at that.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: No, that's your title. What is your NAME?

Cleverbot: We can have the same name.

User: Let's try this again. Who are you?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah that's all you get today.

Deal with it.

If my child were gay

I'd still love them. I'd be a proud parent and encourage them in every part of their life.

But this?



This is unforgivable.

My toys, sneaking around and cavorting behind my back. I caught them in the act red handed, and needless to say, they are both being reprimanded for such public acts. Honestly, the paint could rub off their molds. I didn't buy them just to get damaged, dagnabbit.

For his good behavior, Cyborg 009-kun has beeb upgraded to a special location as my power button.



Lookit how goddamn happy he is. Proud of my boy.

Anyways, I missed the sex museum today. For some reason all my facebook settings were turned off so I didn't get the notification from Jennifer about WHEN we were going and as such it was earlier than I woke up. Bugger.

Thing is, these things WERE set before. Somebody has been messing with my account. I'm getting really sick of this. First my Gaia account and now my facebook? If they get to my bank I'm going to start cracking skulls. I hate being on this school network.

Incidentally, I keep neglecting this blog in the other window in favor of my project. I'm writing about turning 21 in America when your friends take you out drinking.

Yes, it's a final paper.

Why? Well, we're supposed to write about a tradition in our country. And well.... I'm an American. Internal problems right there.

So this is the closest I've got.

After that, sleep. Then wake up and make TACOS! Then go take the last exam I have before the break starts and booyaka. Then my celebratory milk, and I'll probably go sacrifice a small Japanese child to my dark elder gods or something. So, good night planned out.

I keep forgetting to link to this: The Sneeze

I'm probably way behind in finding it, considering even the Mythbuster's famous Adam is a fan. But I just came across this blog, and 9/10 times the blogs are hilarious, and I've almost fallen out of my seat laughing at a good share of them. Start with the Best of the Sneeze links on the side and especially the STEVE DON'T EAT IT which is disgusting and hilarious.

That's all. I'm off to go punish some more gay action figures.

Peanuts are really really filling.

That's it. They just are. You'd never expect it.

Boy, am I spent. What a difficult blog.

I think I'll go take a nap now.

What? You want more? I'm supposed to make up for the combination of this one being late, and also for not making one yesterday?

Well...the thing is...really, I just don't feel like it.



















Nah, I'm lyin. Okay, here goes.

After staying up until 5:30 AM (bwahahahahaha!) I did what any red blooded American would do and slept through two alarms and along the way my first class.

Normally that's upsetting, but it was a computer lab day, and the thing in the computer lab was broken, so the class kinda went home early from what I was told. So I didn't miss anything and I don't think they took attendance. So, win win.

Second class was boring Japanese. Who needs it? I can get around just fine with the level I have now. I'm sure that's all they need in the business world (Note: I am already taking a class that proves how wrong I am)

I got a chance to prove how little I actually knew at a restaurant later in the day. I'll get to that.

So after class I decided "Dammit, I need a jacket. SO HARD." We were at the time experiencing blizzard force winds and temperatures, but without the snow. It was all I could do to withold my teeth from chattering. Can't let those Japanese see a weakness in my American force. No way no how. So t shirt clad and concentrating on a bucket of fresh steamy KFC chicken (it works in commercials, dammit!) I made it back to the dorms putting on a strong face.

Was going to try to do the whole walk from Book Off to You Me town today. It's a few degrees warmer in Beppu at all times than at APU (for example: It doesn't snow in the city) so I wasn't worried about that. The main worry was that I got delayed leaving for various reasons, and on top of that it had been dark since about 5pm so my main goal of a photographic adventure seemed pointless. Ah well. I still needed to get a jacket, so I waited for the bus still thinking about delicious crispy cock meat (see KFC reference above).

The bus to Beppu was pretty cramped. Sat next to this one Chinese kid who looked utterly confused and even managed to push for the wrong stop, which really irritated the bus driver. For once I got the opportunity to help somebody ELSE around Japan, and he seemed to appreciate it. His name is Derek (people, I can pronounce your Chinese names. Poorly, but you do the same with my English one so you can justdeal with it)and I'm making sure to remember people's names for once in my life. They all remember mine. Speaking of which SHO. Another guy I met.

Anyways, off the bus. In the mall. I had conceded to the fact that shit costs off the walls in Japan so I had come out with the resolve that it'd cost 80 dollars for a jacket at best. Found one that I liked right away for 40. I claim it makes me look like Ernest Hemingway, but it does no such thing, especially after I googled images to see with Ernest Hemingway looks like. Either way, I came across one of him bare chested holding a rifle, so we're going to go with that.


Manly.

Yes, back on track. Found one for 40 dollars. Awesome. Since I had planned on spending 80 though, that means I had another 40 to spend on clothes! That's how it works, right? I'm using logic, I promise. So I got two more jackets of varying thickness, and a sweatshirt which is apparently fashion. I hate sweatshirts but it had a fish on it so.... I... well, I guess I don't really have an argument. I live on a mountain for Christ's sake, it gets cold dammit. They were 1000 yen a piece. That's ridiculous, considering the store I bought them in carries various clothings for 8000 on average. The Japanese don't joke in the word "sale". Insanity. It might not be oshare (rabid fashion) anymore but you know what? I'm not Japanese. I can be a trend behind if it's friendly to my wallet.

Bought the clothes, and moved on to the American store. No BBQ pringles. EFFFFFFFFF. They had that one can one time and I've seen none since. This is depressing. Why they keep importing the dill pickle flavored ones are beyond me. Better luck at the book store. Since I didn't make it to Book Off today, I looked around for something cheap at the mall (HA!). Apparently Detective Conan manga is only 300 yen. That's astounding. Doraemon is 600 yen and that's even more popular.

Anyways, I bought some toys.

I am obsessed with these little guys.



Cyborg 009, Viral from Gurren Lagaan, and Kamen Rider Kiva (thanks Runa) in that order.

It was awesome, as Cyborg 009 was the one I wanted the most from that particular set and it was the first one I got. So much win. Although there is an artificial human Kikaider figure I need to get from the series, and these things are cheap as hell so here's to hopin. I got another figure too, but it's stupid so I didn't picture it. Instead, have a bigger picture of my favorite pseudo-human.


I'm so damn awesome.

My other goal of coming out was food. I got my super expensive milk for post-exam celebration (what? alcohol? I don't get where you're going with this). And I got me some more taco ingredients. Turns out that for some reason buying the taco kit is actually CHEAPER than buying the ingredients that I need. That is to say that since I already own sauce from last time, seasoning and tortilla shells for some reason cost a full 150 yen more than just the kit. Which is...absurd. I can't believe I didn't look into that last time. I was just so excited. Anyways, the point is: tacos again. Sweet holy mother of awesome.

After You Me town I got to test out my new jacket on the walk to Beppu Station. Granted there is a bus stop RIGHT THERE outside the mall, but I was hungry and after all that exhausting shopping (am I right, ladies?) I didn't want to have to cook for myself. Along the way there was a guy in the underpass sitting on a stool with a guitar and some female groupies, playing his song for some spare change and the love of music. LIKE A REAL MAN. Tossed him a handful of change and stuck around for a minute or two listening to him, and he was pretty good. Mind you though that dollars and five dollars are in coin form here. I tossed something like 7 coins, which makes the maximum I could have thrown THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS. I didn't, though, if I had to guess it was something like 3.16. But you know, it's the effort. Whatever.

As fate would have it I got to the station RIGHT AS the bus was leaving. This left me exactly 30 minutes to wine and dine, or at least the second option. The burger place that had been my destination was closed up so that didn't work. Just for good measure, I stood pawing at the locked doors with a sad look on my face as the employees looked up from their cleaning duties utterly confused. So when that got boring I went to the Mister Donuts next door and got a bun wrapped sausage (anyone who's had baos, think the hot dog bao) and a french cruller that came with FREE WATER! In a GLASS. Amazing. Anyways, the girl at the counter seemed amused by my inability to speak Japanese (told you this would come up later. IN YOUR FACE people who think I'm senile) so she did a whole bunch of hand motioning and in the end just basically did what she wanted. But she was friendly, and she carried my food to a table to me due to my hands being full of shopping bags and shame.

I tried to eat as slowly as possible but that only wasted ten minutes, so I wandered over to the arcade for the first time. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Roshi? NOT going to an arcade? Astounding. I didn't understand half of the things in there though. Not only were the instructions in Japanese, they were also nonexistent. Wrap your head around that one. So after one machine ate 200 yen, and another one mocked my existence by being impossible for three tries (crane games aren't meant to pick up BOXES you scheming pricks!) I played 4 bouts of Tekken before Hwoarang failed me. No, no I'm not bad at the game. Hwoarang is a sissy little bitch and he should try harder. Dammit.

Made it back home a bit after 10 and talked with random people I know in the hallway, unpacked my food, and now I have plans to go to Oita with JM over the weekend. So that's cool. The Fukuoka plans aren't happening? I guess our friend forgot he had asked if we wanted to go. Which is pretty much fine, because I'd end up spending something like 500 dollars if I went anyways.

So that's caught up with today, where I ate an entire loaf of milk bread and some peanuts. Maybe peanuts aren't that filling and it's more the me eating an entire loaf of bread. Must investigate further. Hurm.

Some interesting points from yesterday then:

I had managed to wake up on time for once, and left 5 minutes earlier than my normal time to get to class, which was nice. But on the way I saw this girl struggling with some build-up furniture IKEA style, right? Now, this wouldn't be so much of a problem I suppose, but here's the thing. There is nowhere to get that stuff on campus, and especially not anywhere in the vicinity of the dorm building. Which means that this girl had been dragging these three things from the BUS STOP. By herself. And the time that I saw her was right after the normal leaving for class time (most students like to get there 10 minutes early. Personally, a wizard is never late. Nor is he early. Except yesterday.) At the rate she was going it must have taken her something like 5 minutes to drag these things from the bus stop. And in the MOST TRAFFICKED TIME OF THE PERIOD, NOBODY STOPPED TO OFFER HER HELP. This more than anything irritates me. So I walked up and offered to help her bring them to her room. She stood there and looked sort of confused, so I said "Tasukemasu?" which is my equivalent to asking if she needs help in Japanese when I'm under stress to think of something. This didn't...help...either. Turns out she was Chinese, which is perfect cause I took a full year of Chinese that I can't remember a word of. When I made the motions though, she bowed a lot and said some things. Note: A girl passing by said "She says thank you very much" and then also walked off without offering help. Thuper. Anyways, I grabbed two of the three things and followed her up the elevator and to her room. She said thank you a whole bunch, and then in severely broken English asked where I'm from and if I was going to be late for class. I never actually... get her name. She might've said her English one but I couldn't tell, but she said that her Chinese one was too hard to pronounce so I left, and she followed me to the elevator thanking me the whole time. I also tried to say nice to meet you in Chinese but failed exuberantly at that, which I double checked with Fanxing later in the day.

Point being that I thought common deceny was dead in America, but hell this is an international institute. Turns out not caring about your fellow man is a worldwide sensibility.

Anyways, not ending this on a sour note. As this is chronological order, I managed to do pretty well on one of my final exams shortly after that. That's where I met Sho, as he sat next to me and talked up until the moment we were told to be quiet. Really friendly guy, had a cool hate. Studied in England. I only remembered later that Sho was my favorite Japanese name growing up as a result of a series of horrible video games, so he has that going for him too. (anyone who guesses the game series gets a prize. Limited time only. All applicants must be legal residents of the United States and must be 18 or older at time of playing)

Also, I had to go to the bathroom after class. And THANK GOD for that, or else this would never have entered my life:



Haha no, I don't know what it is. It looks like a Japanese Spiderman if I had to guess. I don't know what it says or why he's flailing around like that, but I couldn't leave it alone. So I responded with a picture of Spiderman myself:



The internet meme: How do I shot web? emblazoned above the traditional questioning spidey from the same trend.

Of course this is not my best drawing of the Friendly Neighborhood Arachnid Dude. But let's see you do better when you're lopsided on a porcelain throne. I can't rule my monarchy AND draw at the same time. Wait, I think I got lost in my own innuendo...

Anyways, that's up to date. And I have no class tomorrow. And if I do, screw that. The final was last week, what are they gonna do?

I'm gonna go eat some more peanuts.

ANOTHER UPDATE. INSANITY.

It's like I do this every day or something. Sheesh.

Today was another do nothing day. It's finals week after all. So mostly was spent doing work.

I did get out to the cafeteria, and one of the non-Japanese students was working in the cafeteria. She cooked my donburi more than is required, so there was no raw egg. You'd think this would be awesome, but I realized an inverse quotient. Apparently, if you cook the egg fully, then it evaporates out the soup stock...somehow. So if I ever make this myself I need to find the correct balance of egg cooked just enough and keep in soup stock.

Or just heap on extremely generous amounts of soup stock. It's sure to work!

Speaking of dangerous recipes, I suggested something in a community yesterday. I came up with the concept that, seeing as how it worked so well when I nuked my shishkebab in the microwave and the fat melted and sizzled around it to cook it, I don't see why you can't cook OTHER things this way. I'm planning on cooking some french fries using this method, is what I'm trying to say. So I'm debating whether I should use strips of bacon, or if I should just use the tried and true shishkebabs again. I'm thinking the latter, as then it's more making a meal with a side dish of french fries.

Make room for me in the burn ward, ladies.

Chocolate covered macadamia nuts are only a dollar here. Thought I'd point that out.

Also, for anyone who can't remember that far back, I made a diagram of my room. In paint of course, the tool of all true artists everywhere.



That's the closest my colorblind ass can get to the color of the carpet. IT's actually slightly lighter and darker squares spattered across the floor, and this being japan, at the entrance is a darker shade where it's okay to wear shoes (although me being American I've fallen asleep with mine on more than once).

The weird unlabelled bars are metal beams in my room that are apparently used for hanging up clothes. I've used them for that purpose once when someone took all my crap out of the dryer before it was done LIKE A JERK. Usually I just use them to do my stretching excercises. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Also, if you've never seen it and can bear to watch Disney movies, watch Fluppy Dogs.

Youtube link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gxIY2ZS0uI&feature=related

This was my absolute favorite movie growing up. It's poor quality VHS rip on youtube, but I dare you to find a better quality version of it anywhere, as it hasn't been released on DVD to the best of my knowledge.

Have fun with that. I have to go back to playing the not-study game (No Slombor, not that one)

Starvin Marvin

Blog number 60: Marooned on an uninhabitable island, there are others here. Human once, you can no longer see the spark of sentience in their eyes. They crawl around, no sense of intelligence, sniffing at each other and things around them in an animal way. They grunt in what could almost be called a language, picking things up with their sticks and gnawing on them with a hungry look.

I've been stranded here two months now. Fighting every step of the way to just have my place, away from the savages that preside here. Food has become a desire, unreachable at times, undesirable at others. Fermented beans and still twitching fish abound, but you take what you can get at these points.

Tonight is one of those nights. Slinking against the walls as I make my way through the passageways. Dark glares peer at me from beady eyes underneath mats of greasy black hair. I try not to let me gaze linger, lest I incur their wrath.

My usual source of food is barren. I look all over the alcove for some sort of sustenance but realize it's hopeless. The only other place available at this hour is along a treacherous path, winding and dangerous.

When I arrive at the entrance, there is another there. I do my best to not get his attention; my breathing is lowered, inaudible. I attempt to match footsteps, but this fails and I get a curious backwards glance from him. It's over. I fear for my life. 23 hour long heartbeats afterward, he decides that I am no threat, and continues along the trail.

When I arrive at the end I'm alone again. My food resource is flourishing! Excited, I store some morsels and continue on my way. The corriders are dead now, no other sings of life pulsating inside them. Still, I make my hurried way back to my shelter, for my alleged saferoom to camp out the night.


So yeah, ended up not going to Beppu today. ATM denied me access again cause Japan is stupid. Basically, I have no reason to go to the mall if I only have 10 dollars on me. So.... that'll happen either Tuesday or Wednesday. Preferably Wednesday, but I might get anxious and leave earlier.

Two papers to finish this weekend. And then classes Monday and Tuesday, then I get a week break discounting a test or two that I have on Thursday. Should be a nice break though.

Also, in apology for no Beppu pictures, here is a comic from an unknown source. Enjoy.



Jesus is fucking metal.

Stupid Slow Internet

I think I should sell some of my belongings so that I can purchase a faster internet.

When you have to WAIT for PICTURES to load that's a problem. I'm okay with waiting a few minutes for youtube or something, but pictures? What is this, 1994? God, I think some of the people who read this blog are younger than that. You blessed children, never having to know the pains of slow internet. Unless you come to Japan.

Please don't.

Anyways, today was another skip all my classes days. Slept through the first one, didn't care about the second one. Tomorrow is the last week of classes before quarter break, so I'm allowed these small priveleges in my mind's eye.

Tried to make latkes today. My grater wouldn't....grate. I have no idea why. But when I tried grating the potatoes with it it just sort of....liquidated them. Did the same thing with the onions, and those were crisper. So I just chopped it all up and made some hash browns (AGAIN). They were delicious though so I don't mind. GOnna go look for an actual grater grater, cause I think I might have gotten something...else.... by accident. I have no idea. Maybe I just suck at this.

Anyways, I promised pictures:



Neat poster right? The uninitiated might not notice, but I took a picture of it because Johnny Storm is written Johnny Stome. I know, hilarious. Shut up.



There's the popee paper. It's paper for when you poopie.



More chocolate filled bear treats. I told you I start with the left ear. And he still looks ridiculously happy. Probably induced by the lobotomy.

One more:



This poster is very convenient as it has two of my professors on it (I keep getting yelled at by randos for calling them "teachers"). On a side note, it's also the most incriminating piece of evidence against me that I've posted here. I'll probably get deported for bitching about my classes or something now.

Anyways, bottom left is Professor Kee Pookang from Malaysia. He taught my Multiculturalism class and was a nice guy for the most part. I missed something like three classes though based on the fact that it was in the middle of the week after all my other classes and first period so I was not ready to wake up that early. Oh well. Interesting stuff, some Japan bashing that was amusing. Also there was an entire lecture about racism and the KKK in America, that had me avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

The top right is Professor Jeremy Eades who is a very awesome person. First of all, he's British, and despite that reminds me of Sean Connery. He's really intelligent and apparently has done a lot of travelling, and has some pretty cool stories about it all. I feel bad because his was one of my favorite classes, but the only one that didn't take attendance so I tended to skip it to get work done. Ah, oh well. Apparently he's involved in the UN or some such thing if I heard correctly. He's an important faculty in the school too but I can't remember why. Overall, pretty awesome.

That's all the pictures I suppose.

I started reading The Watchmen and am about halfway through the graphic novel now. IT's amazing, definitely deserves all the hype. I don't know why it took me so long to read it. Anyone who doesn't know by now, though, the ending of the movie is changed from the book if you care.

I'm making a gigantic journey tomorrow, provided I wake up early enough to get to the ATM. Going to Book-off the discount book store to grab me a pile of cheap cheap dirt cheap manga for more practice, and maybe see what other used things they have there. Then I'm walking through Beppu to get to the mall. So, that'll be an adventure. I'm going early enough in the day (hopefully) that my camera will be of use, so stay optimistic on that front.

That's all for now. Send me pizza. I'm desperate.

Hurpa derpa doo

Dammit I'm retarded.

I froze up in the middle of class and couldn't remember the verb "to sell" (uru, for those who care). I tried using kaeru which means to exchange (money, or for something) which I'm willing to argue makes sense, but the teacher made a snappy comment about how my assignment was to practice translating the dialogue and it's obvious that I didn't. This is the same teacher who came to me all understanding like saying "I looked into it and apparently you're still learning Japanese. As an exchange student I'm aware you can sign up for higher level classes, so I'd like to challenge you but just know that I'm aware you're not up to the level of the course." and then proceeded to mock me for not being able to perform at a level that is above me?

Man, Japan sucks.

Next week is the end of the quarter. So, new teachers, new classes, much less work. I made sure not to sign up for any grad level courses this time. Probably a smart move.

I'm trying to shift off of drinking so much pop but it's difficult. Not because I love pop, but because Japan doesn't carry anything else worth drinking in their vending machines. The brand of green tea is absolutely vile and tastes more like seaweed tea in my opinion. Then they also have these drinks that have chunks of fruit in them, or just fruit flavored jelly. Either or is absolutely disgusting. I know I drink bubble tea, but I still don't enjoy things in my drink I don't WANT there.

Augh, tomorrow's blog will be much less bitter and will include pictures, I promise. I need to move away from the my personal life angle and get back to the living in Japan one.

It'll happen, mesa promises.

The beginning of the end!

HOLY CRAP THE RAPTURE!

Actually, I just saved you from the Rapture. Thank me for that. (Side thought - would people really be against the Rapture if it involved raptors? That'd be SO COOL.)

By beginning of the end I mean I had my first final exam today. And it went...alright? The teacher was a jerk and told us the wrong material though. I dunno, I think he was just encouraging us to study harder. STill, he warned us this would be longer and also cover more of the recent material than the other tests, and neither was true.

I talked about this with some rando from the class over lunch, who decided it'd be TOTALLY COOL TO SIT WITH ME AT THE TABLE.

It was, so he lived another day. I don't remember his name whatsoever, but it's something Japanese. He's from Kobe and he's dating a girl from Philadelphia. Crazitude.

Unfortunately, I only got an hour of sleep last night due to a combination of studying for today's test and also seeing a terrifying picture of Bart Simpson (you...you'd have to be there). Also I was having terrible nightmares all night and was freaking out trying to get to sleep. Probably what happens when you eat two bags of gummy bears before bed. Oh well.

I beat Contra III today. By cheating and giving myself infinite lives and nukes. But really, I just wanted to see the end of the game so I don't care. And it's weird but it was still difficult with all those cheats in. How the hell does that happen.

And there was an episode of Pokemon on today. Ash was fighting against another trainer with his Turtwig, and in the middle of a battle it evolved into a...Tortuga? Tortadon? I don't know what it turns into. Either way that's what happened. While I was eating in the kitchen and it happened to be on. I swear I didn't put it on myself.

Nope.

Finally got my money from the school. Now I can buy clothes and pay off APU. Fo shizzle.

This just in

My Japanese class is really really boring.

Doubly so. Today we went to a computer lab to do some test. But the thing is, it was a practice test, not a real test. Also, they didn't grade it. We spent an hour doing it, and then the next hour was spent with the teacher reading each question and telling us the answer. Not explaining things. Just reading us and telling us the answer.

I'm starting to realize why the Japanese are so smart. It has nothing to do with schooling. It's because you learn so little in class that you panic and study the brains out your ears on your own.


A graphical representation drawn with my touch pad in MS paint

Had to cancel an onsen trip tomorrow to make room for studying. So glad about that. Stupid school. Stupid not seeing Japan.

But on a note related to both, Senjinkai is planning a trip to some city who's name I can't pronounce on the 26th. So, that's good. Excited about that.

I gotta get back to studying. Blah.

I'm on the internet!

Postin on a blog!

One thing I've noticed: The Japanese (and most of the none-westerners here, actually) are incapable of grasping the most almighty of American traits: Fukital. Fukital is a wonderful concept. Outsiders look at it and go "How can you be so lazy? You can't do something half assed, it'll never come out right!" They don't realize that Fukital is itself putting full effort into something. It's the feeling when you wake up ten minutes late for class and you'll get docked points for being late, so you figure you might as well not go in. It's that sense you get when you're buying a new TV, and the model you want already costs 1300 dollars, so why not get teh largest size for another 300? It's the mindset that gets you to upgrade your pop and popcorn for only a dollar more, that gets you to spend an hour looking for the tv remote, and that ensures you always put off calling your mother because she knows you love her anyways.

Yes, my friends. Fukital is a wonderful thing. And any time somebody tries to yell at you for doing something half assed, laugh. Laugh right in their dumb faces. Then get all serious like and go "No, ma'am. I'm not half assing this. I may be quitting. I may be giving up. I may be doing something stupid. But I am doing it with my entire ass. My FULL ASS is involved in what I am doing, and you are foolish for thinking otherwise."

Truly, an admirable quality.

One I'm not living up to though, cause I woke up early to finish my homework, went to all my classes, and set up a study date with a friend to help each other write essays, then came to my room after classes, made some scrambled eggs (With sriracha! BWAHAHA!) and proceeded to study.

I'm such a damn hypocrite. I sicken me.

Also I'm supposed to go to an onsen and a ramen shop this wednesday. But the temperature is dropping by about 10 degrees fahrenheit on a daily basis here. I'm thinking telling them I can't go and then going winter clothe shopping is a better move. Then I'll feel pretty and also be prepared for the winter!

I thought my Japanese was improving. I really did. And maybe it's just cause the class is above my level. But I made out the translation for Interpreting, and showed it to Yusuke. After he read it all he said was "We'll work on it together". I'm doing fine in Japanese class itself, though, so that's a plus. Fo rizzle.

I need to stop getting bored. Those who love Watchmen may want to shield their eyes:



Take THAT, Alan Moore!

Right-o then

Woke up, did some stuff. I tend to do some stuff. Is that a thing you got a problem with, bub? Alright then, moving on.

Got a knock on my door while I was studying (I do that! Who said I didn't?) that said sex museum off, karaoke on. Okay, that's fine. I didn't have the money for both anyways, that works.

So when I wind up at Tokiwa with Yuan and JM and we decide we're not going to karaoke anymore I begin to question the point of the outing.

OH well. We went to You Me town and hung out with some of Yuan's Korean friends that were friendly, and bought some groceries and such. So not all bad. And we found a brand of toilet paper called poopee. Well, alright. It's PoPee. But I refuse to no pronounce it like a 2 year old.

Anyways, as a result of not doing anything noteworthy, there are no of the promised pictures. I'm sorry, I really am (I'm really not). Next time. Which would be next week Wednesday. Mark the calendars. You'll get to see the sinful, seedy underbelly of the Japanese karaoke world.

On an unrelated note, I might be going to Fukuoka during the quarter break. A real city! That'll give me mucho opportunity to learn more about what it's like living in Japan. APU doesn't quite accurately recreate that.

I mean, we have toilets here. Most of Japan goes without, so I hear.

Also, like to add:

www.ifightrobots.com

It's a blog that I follow, and the guy is hilarious. He's also working on a book that should be fantastic when it's released about how many things in the modern world are probably going to kill you that you've never heard it. It's...it's actually a comical thing, I promise.

An hour and a half late

Awesome. That means it's 3:30 am here. Hard. Core. Although I've noticed that people tend to get up early enough to read yesterday's blogs thinking they belong to today, so I'm not sure that when I update really matters.

I didn't do anything today. End of story.

Like...literally nothing. It was raining outside so I only went to the school store once. Reheated some tacos. That was good. Then just kinda talked to people and lounged around. Nice break.

Tomorrow is karaoke. No sex museum, it is postponed because it is expensive and nobody wants to go tomorrow. But karaoke pictures will abound!

That's really all I got. I didn't even take any pictures for you guys. Me so sorry.

Oh, the guy who's always being loud at like 3 in the morning in the hallway is getting evicted. That's new, I'm excited about that.

Alright, I'm done. Go watch the Bear Force One video again.

Skippin classes way to go

Oh man.

So that project I mentioned? I ended up not finishing til like....5. And it being Friday morning, I was extremely tired and ended up sleeping through both of my classes today.

So, that happened. And it's felt like Saturday all day.

But at least I made tacos. And they came out really freaking well, although the Hot sauce I got wasn't as hot as advertised. Still, delish, and I have some left over for tomorrow so I don't have to spend money on food. That's always good.

I didn't burn myself this time either, so that's always good. Guess I'm getting better at this cooking thing. Maybe I'll open up a restaurant or something. Call it the Drippy Faucet, and we'll cater to sailors and badasses. If people don't leave with more bruises than they came in with they'll get a refund.

Also: My toy collection is growing:



Yeaaaah.

Two Gurren Lagaan, a Shakugan no Shana, Final Fantasy 4, and Marvel collectibles.

These are my favorites:


So awesome. Trying to get the whole set, and then a second whole set to sell. Still have yet to set up an e-bay store, but I shall, and it will bring in the bacon.

I should cook some bacon. I think I'm afraid I might scald out my jugular vein or something though.

Tomorrow is a free day. I think I may study for once. Or just read. But...reading is technically studying, because I'm reading in Japanese. Hurray! A loophole!

Sunday is karaoke. I will remember to charge my camera and take pictures. Much to my chagrin though, I realized the video quality is awful. WEll, scratch that. The videos are fine, the audio is terrible. So if anyone knows of any free software that can help restore audio, a link would be greatly appreciated. In return, I dunno, I'll post a picture of my boobs or something. It's the internet, that's always appreciated.

[looks around]

Man. Tomorrow is room cleaning day. Else I get evicted for being so slovenly.

Sloth is my favorite sin.

No post today

I know by posting it's kind of contradictory. But I'm ass deep in a project that's due tomorrow so I don't have the time to do anything for you. As a result, I stole a comic from Penny Arcade that should help explain the exchange rate on Japanese Yen.


Everything copyright Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Visit their site to prevent my chances of getting sued or something.
I'll be back tomorrow with your regularly scheduled crap of crap.

All Aboard the Ho Train

Got my potato croquette fix today. Mmmm mm.

And I went to Beppu!

I found out the secrets of those mysterious doors. Despite not finding any sliding panels on my first investigation, I looked around harder this time (see: Actually looking) and found out there are actually giant plexiglass panels in the ceiling that slide all the way down and block things off.

I'm not sure why they don't use the, you know, store front with a cage thing that we do in America. Those Japanese sure like to make things tricky.

I bought a bunch of essentials at You Me Town. Some more reading material, some toys, another dragon ball (The 1 star ball. I'm almost there!) some pens, a rack for my schoolwork.

Oh, and a MEXICAN SECTION IN THE GROCERY STORE OMG YES.

By section I mean a shelf with about a foot of Mexican products (see: taco shells and taco sauce. And salsa) and a little mexican flag on it. Aww, ain't that cute. Doesn't matter, I bought some ground beef and this motha's gonna make some tacos this weekend. Gonna be SO CASH.

Also, I bought some "Smoky Salami" pringles, which apparently is a "Flavor of Fall" according to the Japanese Pringles company. I'm not sure why, but they are delicious. Ridiculously so.

I think I'm going to start limiting my spending. Gonna take out 100 dollars on Mondays, and if I run out before the week is over, that's too bad unless I need food or something important comes up like schoolbooks or something. Unless I get a job I think I need to act responsible (What? BLASPHEMY!)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go ignore my homework and play with my new action figures.

They are NOT dollies!

Dragon Balls

I'm collecting them.



So far I only have the five star ball, but that just means that I'm one step closer to collecting them all. After I get the other 6 I'll have one of my wishes granted. I'm not sure what it is. I think I'll try to cheat the dragon by writing on a sheet of paper all the things I want and then being all "I want my life to be like the things written on this paper." I dunno if that'll work or not, they never tried to exploit that loophole. He might just screw me over and make the world two dimensional. Or just me. That'd probably hurt.

I didn't do anything today aside from use my supernatural senses to determine that I should probably buy more toilet paper, so let's show some pictures:




This may not look like anything special, but I assure you it is. Okay, well maybe special should be in quotes. It's "special." There, that's better. That's pretty much how I describe Japan anyways. But this is a glass door, in the middle of the mall. FOR NO REASON. I looked around. There aren't any panels to connect to it to block off the area, and the door is locked. It's just a door in the middle of the floor. I've always wanted one, but for the purpose of my amusement, and probably somewhere in my yard or inside my house. Or I'd just build it in the middle of the woods somewhere. But it makes even less sense to be in a professional structure.

Also holy crap I just realized there is a tags list box on the bottom of this window. 40+ blogs in and I just notice this now. I should probably start putting things in there. Maybe I'll make some money off of it or get a book deal or something. Sweet. Anyways, more pictures:



Hurray! It's an import store! Called Deli for some reason. And since I'm in Japan their primary import is....American things! Oh god sweet succulent heaven. They have pringles there, AMERICAN pringles. None of this miso soup boiled squid flavored crap. Thank God for silly western trend stores. They also sell a lot of Disney stuff in there. Apparently America = Disney, cause I've had a good amount of people ask me about Disney World.



This is a pastry I bought today. I ate the left ear first, for anyone who was dying to know. The thing was filled with chocolate pudding/frosting/filling/stuff so it was delicious through and through. Japan is cool that way.

Now, back to my fortress of solitude.

[whoosh]

Goin Down to Melbourne

Gonna have myself a time. Friendly faces everywhere, dingos shouting "ATE YOUR BABY"
Goin down to Melbourne gonna see if I can't unwind. Kangaroos and wallabies! Koalas eating EUCALYPTUS.

So yeah. Not that I care much about either candidate, but Britz Gritz Cracker (We don't use real names, not in THIS blog) asked me if I'd stay in Japan if McCain got elected. Nah, Japan sucks. But Australia's only like 100 dollars away, so why not.

For those of you who don't know, Japan is not a Christian nation. As such, they don't believe in daylight savings time. Or time zones for that matter. All of Japan is on one time zone, which means it gets dark sometime between 5 and 6 where I live. It makes you tired.

You may be saying to yourself "Fuck this guy, and fuck his shit. Why should I care about what this straight up foo' be spillin?" Well I'll tell you why, holmes. This means that I am now 14 hours into your future. I am enjoying the future fourteen times as much as you are. As thus, I still maintain that the blog will be updated at noon o clock eastern standard time. This just means that I now have until 2am to get it done. Sure, I'll probably stick with my regular routine so it'll be updated at about 11ish now, but still. Don't EXPECT it until noon.

Also, I've decided. Just simply don't expect me to upload the pictures unless it's not Monday or Thursday. I don't have the mindset to concentrate after all my classes those days. Especially days like today where, oh say, the ATMs were closed for a holiday that our school doesn't celebrate so I had no money for food. Thank God I didn't finish all the stuff in my fridge, although my bread had things growing on it.

I wish it was okay to take pictures of random people. Anyone who's looked through my pictures knows it's totally cool to take pictures of peoples' kids though. (God that sounds creepy). But no, if you're out with a group of friends and someone has a kid that is doing crazy things apparently the parents are filled with pride if you take pictures of the insanity. That's a much better reaction than the triple lawsuit you get in America.

I'm looking into a job here. Not anytime soon, but I should get my work visa and start putting in applications at the end of the semester for next semester.

What will I be doing?

Why, teaching, of course.

English. To Middle Schoolers.

I am going to get deported so fast.

Of Brothels and Hot soup

A dark alley, the middle of the evening. It gets dark early around here. The sun seems to know the kind of people that it oversees. These are nig ht dwellers, and he knows he is not wanted around them. He retires early, as if to let the creatures of the darkness go about their business unmolested.

In the blackened streets debauchery can be seen in every direction. Street vendors of various degrees of legality, with their quick-roll matts filled with goods, mostly illegitimate, but things fall off the backs of trucks quite frequently around here. Gambling parlours where husbands abandon their happy lives to make room for the glint of the only love most will ever know in this cruel world.

Offset from view just a bit lies a sign, a vague neon glow emanating from it, as if its too tired to try for your attention anymore. It doesn't need to try though; its customers know that it's there, and word of mouth is more than enough. Lonely souls enter, full pockets and empty hopes. Poor souls leave with broken pride and thoughts of why it will never get better.

I walk on by. Make no eye contact. Keep moving. This is not your place. It is not your town. These are not your people and this is not your life. Keep walking.

I make it to my destination. The man at the counter gives me a curious look. He can tell I don't belong here, but that's not his concern. He reaches over the counter with a bowl of hot soup. It's delicious. It's gone.

I pay the man and mutter a thank you. I look dead ahead, seeing nothing but the lights out of the corners of my eyes, screaming for my attention but I pay them none. I have a destination. It's not this place.

I make it to the bus stop. People speak in a strange language around me as I wait, a strange language that I can vaguely understand. They wouldn't care if they knew. People will talk about anything in public.

The bus comes. It's a long ride in the darkness. But I can escape. Escape to my asylum, where I can pound on the walls, scratch off the paint. Yell at the voices in my head. Cry out in desperation and loneliness, shouting at the cold world.

But at least here it all makes sense.







Hehe that was fun. But seriously, I went to You Me town. Was supposed to go to karaoke, but JM had to study and do homework and such, so that was called off. I was supposed to meet Yuan there, but it just didn't happen. Got on the wrong bus or we just missed each other or SOMETHING.

I went shopping for some kids manga to practice my Japanese, and I ended up getting Yotsuba& volume 2, and a Super Mario Bros manga. So yeah, pretty neat. And they cost like a third of what they do in America, so thats pretty cool. Ran into some people I knew and we parted ways, but I eventually did find Yuan and some other people from Senjinkai and we wandered around You me town for a bit. Note: for some reason, Japanese kids enjoy running. A LOT. FOR NO REASON. And the parents don't care. It's insane. These kids will run like 8 stores down and back. In America the parents would drop to their knees in tears thinking the kids will get snatched up if they get 20 feet from their leash. Insanity.

Went to a real ramen shop with senjinkai and it was pretty good. Apparently it was supposed to be AWESOME but I'll reserve my judgement until I try other places. My American palate doesn't love the same things that these Japanese people do, so I'll probably fall in love with a completely different dish. And I DID find a Chinese restaurant, so hopefully I can get there soon. Yay.

But on brothels: yeah. Found one. Apparently I've walked past it like....40 times. And never knew it, cause I didn't care too. Yuan knows everything about it, and I'm too polite to ask why. Apparently all the women who work there are late teens, early 20's and very pretty and 100 dollars will buy you 20 minutes with a lady. That HARDLY seems worth it.

Also, it's called Play Station. Take a minute to laugh and then moan that you'll never be able to play video games without thinking about prostitution again.

Also: BBQ pringles. Oh comfort food, how I love thee.

I tried my hand at cooking again today. French Toast this time. And then I burned my hand. Yeah... go me. Apparently you're not supposed to stabilize pans while you're cooking things. I guess they're hot or something, I dunno. I'm not a scientist.

Three more weeks and then I'm done bitching about classes. I can't wait.

That's all for now. Pictures later, camera died again (RICHAAAAAARDS!)