This is my umberella

Apparently it's the Japanese thing to do.

For some reason, everywhere you go in Japan there is an umbrella rack. At least from the places I've been. And this struck me as odd until I noticed everyone carrying them. Mostly women, but people have umbrellas on them ALL THE TIME. I guess to protect themselves from the raging inferno of the sun, those deadly hornets, smells imps, I dunno, Japan is full of horrible monstrosities.

But today it was downpouring, and, playing into my femininity, I bought an umbrella while wearing my man purse around. My yellow duffel bag.

Yeah, that's right.

I was the faggiest thing around for a good 20 minute walking period.

This was after going to two lectures about things that I already knew about the campus. I should've taken it as a sign that none of the other exchange students save a couple of the Chinese ones were there. Seriously, those Chinese students are going to take over the world.

Tomorrow if it's done raining I'm going to try going to town again. Hopefully it works this time.

If not, I'm going to try cooking. I stole a recipe from Robert Rodriguez(who is apparently a gigantic douche now. Boy am I out of the loop) on how to make breakfest burritos from scratch. Providing my campus has the necessary ingredients (fucking Japan) then I'll be able to get right on that. Chances are I'll have to go to the grocer or wait til Saturday for the veggie venders to come by. Oh well. We'll see how that goes.

Although I'm hoping going into Beppu comes first cause I wanna take photos of how bad a cook I am.

Also, one more thing: Fucking Japan

Wo de Shengri

So I decided to make the day eventful and go down to Beppu City.

After spending 20 minutes trying to figure out how to read the damn bus schedule, I gave up and decided that 6 kilometers wasn't that far of a walk. (Note: This was before I did the math to realize that 6 kilometres is almost 4 miles. Yeah....)

So the walk started off great! Found out there's a path leading right off of the dorms( this was of course after walking full circle around the campus due to my directional challenge, but I didn't mind that cause now I know where EVERYTHING is.) There's a nice bridge there with a shallow view of the waterfall, and it's really high up so my vertigo came into play and I felt like I was going to die the entire time I was crossing it. Being afraid of heights is less funny when you're clutching the ground in tears hoping to god that your bladder doesn't give out (again).

Anyways, after that I walked about a good mile on the curved mountain road and looked up at APU. Good, I still know where I am. Head up to the intersection and check the map... both roads lead into Beppu. Well hey, let's go straight cause that's convenient!

Enter the raven. Or the crow. Karasu, whatever. GiGANTIC bird in my path, just staring me down. Probably should've gone back to campus at that point, but I heedlessly walked down the road for another 45 minutes, and, checking the roughly drawn map again, realized I had JUST made the big bend about a quarter of the way there....and no houses or restaurants yet. Nothing but construction.

WEll, looks like I should turn around. And holy shit it's a lot more difficult going uphill on a mountain. Going down it's about twice your walking speed, going up is less than half.

Anyways, get back to the intersection and take the turn that the bus took to go to the medical center the other day (no I don't know why I didn't take that hint, go eat a dick). There's a good indication I can go this way, what with the fact that there was a crosswalk in this direction and tourist information pointing me down the road. Thanks helpful sign!

Too bad it didn't warn me about what the road was like. I've discovered where the sidewalk ends, and it ends in hell. About a block down there was no room to walk anymore. Sheer cliff face on one side, high mountain wall on the other. No sidewalk. Cars only. Final destination.

After realizing that I could not walk on this path barely two cars wide without dying in the event that two cars came down the road on opposite sides, I became disheartened and ventured back. Immediately after I got back to the sidewalk two cars passed by on either side of the road. Hurray.

The walk back was painful and also terrible. The entire time I could see APU at the top of the mountain. No longer was it a placemarker. It was the face of God himself, laughing at me for thinking I could do battle with his creation, his mountains. They had beaten me, and I was nearly a dead man.

To make matters worse, thoseJapanese Giant Hornets that I was so terrified of before coming to Japan? I saw one. And then I came back and researched them again and found out they primarily live in areas like where I'm at. Oh, and they're attracted to darker clothings, you know, like I wear.
Here the hornet mutters to himself "Behold, for mine is the face of your death.


AWESOME.

So then it started raining. And I walked to the cafeteria in the rain, miserable because my venture failed. Ate dinner alone, and went to a vending machine to get some mountain dew. Then I ran into Jenny (Jen? Jennifer? I never actually asked what she preferred. Oh well.) and she made me go back into the cafeteria and eat with her and some other students. So hey, that was pretty cool. And she forced me to try some Egg Foo Yung that was pretty good so why not.

Now I'm sitting in my room in my boxers eating oreos.

Next time I am taking the damned bus.

Huckleberry Finn

You were a great cat.

I'm going to miss you forever.



I love you kitty.

This is your brain on Japan.

Man, why do these jerks keep insisting I wake up early?

So I woke up late today and went 10 mintues after class registration started. Only one of my classes was filled and I only wanted to take it cause it's supposedly really popular anyways (Chado - the art of Japanese Tea Ceremony). But the class I REALLY wanted to take was still open and it didn't conflict with my schedule so...hurrah hurrah. No harm no foul. And the guy helping us all was British, and he was arguing with one of the French students. Battle of the European accents for the win.

Holy crap I just left this window open for a good two hours not writing anything in it.

ANYWAYS. There was a "get to know your floormates!" event tonight. I missed the first hour and a half, and then Xanfing came and asked if I was going to it. So I went twenty minutes later, in time for the assembly. Which had the usual taiko drumming Japanese traditional dancing events, and an amusing speech by some professor, as well as the Dorm Director being severely awkward on stage, which was also entertaining.

AND THEN FREE FOOD! DEAR GOD YES! Although we had to pay the price of sitting through all those speeches at that assembly.

So then after the free food we had to sit through more. Buh...wuh? WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A PRICE FOR FREE FOOD! Jesus could just MAKE fish to eat. I wish I had that ability.

But it actually wasn't that bad. These two cute kids (by which I mean they were both about 20) went on stage and the girl sang some songs and the guy played guitar. First song was some Chinese ballad, and the second was....Why? by Avril Lavigne. Yeah, that's right. Fucking Japan.

And while we were waiting for the next act to set up (took them about 25 minutes for some reason, which is odd considering they went on stage and danced) they bumped another act up which was a group of 8 people dancing to... Oh Mickey You're So Fine. 4 girls, 4 guys. Two of the guys were wearing skirts. Fucking Japan.

And while STILL waiting for the next act, one of the RAs went on stage and told us to stomp our feet twice. Then clap our hands. Then stomp twice. Then clap your hands. And keep doing that. And then he broke into an acapella rendition of We Will Rock You.

Fucking.

Japan.

At least the Japanese traditional dancers after that were cute, and the outfits were cool. And Sjorv (I will never spell his name right. The Dutch kid) and Jenny were both there so I had people to talk to that wasn't a complete loss. Hurray grammar [cuts self]. Some other people introduced me, some guy who smelled really bad followed me around for a bit. That's aboot all.

Tomorrow I can sleep in. Cause it's Saturday.

AND NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.

I do all my blogs in Internet Explorer

Silliness, I know. But I use an alt gmail for my blog and it tries to log me out of the other one every time I open this in firefox, which is annoying.

I did NOTHING today. I slept in because apparently you're not supposed to wake up at 7 am and then go to sleep at 2 am. APPARENTLY that isn't good for your body. Pfft.

Went to the office to whine about school stuff and got distracted by Funaki-san's way-too-nice guyness and left without solving the problem. He said it should resolve itself though so... meh. I wandered off to the store and met some nice Netherlandish boy. Spellcheck didn't fix the Netherlandish so I'm assuming it's a real word. Him and I bonded on our mutual misunderstanding of Japanese laundry detergent and of living in the same hallway without meeting each other before. Go figure. He wanted to get lunch but I had just eaten. His loss, should've tried to befriend me before hand.

I know, the nerve of that guy, right?

So other than that I studied a little Japanese, got bored, played some Final Fantasy, got even more bored, studied more Japanese, got bored and watched some Gargoyle show and then remembered I had to write down my classes for scheduling tomorrow.

The classes here suck. The only one I'm excited about doing is an etiquette and tips for interpretors as a field of work. The rest of the classes are just fluff getting in the way of my better learning Japanese. Rawr.

There was also a "post depressing images/pictures/stories" thread on 4chan that had me BAWWWWing pretty hard. I'd share but I'd like to convey images of manly fortitude in my blog.


What's NOT manly about a ninja fighting a full grown honey bear?


Quick two things not that many people know about me:

1) I pick up the accents of the peoples I'm around. So since I've been around nothing but foreign kids and Mr Funaki, I've picked up this weird pseudo - british sounding accent that I'm consciously trying not to speak in. It's really irritating.

2) I love dicks. CANNOT get enough of them. The way the look, stories about them, the method in which they get in and out of tight spots, doing the dirty work nobody else is willing to.

I am of course talking about private investigators. And like I said, the chances of me actually writing a story for you jerks was slim to none, so I'm linking an ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold one here on my myspace account for you jerks to read. Three years old to be exact. Sexy, sexy dicks



Also: They sell liter and a half bottles of Coke here:

Pepsi AND Coke? Where are my implosions, dammit!

I got stabbed.

TWICE.

Granted I was at the doctor's office, and they're supposed to do that when they draw blood and stuff. But I really don't like Japanese doctors offices. I saw ONE doctor and something like 40 nurses. And it's cold. And mechanical. It's worse than American doctors offices and I already hate those. And they did a TB checkup which involved putting a needle under my skin and moving it around a bit.

Yeah, fucking ouch.

Anyways, the trip there involved taking a bus through the tourist section of Beppu. There was a ramen shop which I'm definitely going to when everything gets settled financially. Also an African safari. No idea why. Kind of a humid climate to emulate Africa. Well, the savannah at least. Also: tons of highschoolers. They love us foreigners. All standin on the side of the street waving at our bus. I should dress all Hollywood and go down there shooting everyone sexy looks, see how many people I get to swoon over it and ask for autographs.

Most likely something close to zero, if not less than that.

But yeah, definitely cool going into the city. Architecture is weird. Old style Japanesey in that area, unlike the part I went through on the way here that was basically American style but with different roofing design. I'll have to go back when I have you know, money and friends. [sadface]

Also, I need to learn how to cook. There are things that I desperately need to eat. Like an eggs in a basket grilled cheese sandwich, and this video detailing Michael Rodriguez instructing how to make a breakfast burrito: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBgsLmDcL78

He makes it looks so easy. We'll find out.

I have a care package arriving from Japan with some extra socks and a sewing kit and something else that I can't remember what I asked for. No Mighty Taco though. Depressing is what that is. Ah, sa va. Or however those French pricks spell it.

My mailbox stopped opening because apparently I was using somebody else's mailbox. And frighteningly enough, mine (the one next to it) has the same combination. Luckily for me you have to reach in the slot and pull the side of it to open mine. Cause the handle is broken. So yeah, awesome.

And I got a side dish with my food today. No idea what it was but it tasted good. Like cold potatoes marinated in maple syrup glaze. Nom.

Maple Pan is delicious. Like you wouldn't believe.

One thing I keep forgetting to mention about my room:




Yes, that is the door to my room.

And yes, that is a full length 2 inch glass pane in the door that leads to the hallway that people walk through.

Really makes you feel private.

But really, it's that cloudy security glass with the diamond criss cross wires going across it. You can barely see anything on the other side. It lets people know that you are awake by showing the light is on. Of course considering I couldn't figure out how to turn all my lights off for the first 4 days I was here I guess it wasn't very helpful in that regard.

I need to stop making these blogs so long. It's remarkable how I can do it with so little to talk about. But you guys are insane, I wouldn't read this trite.

Maybe I'll write a short story for tomorrow. That'd be more interesting. Or if I'm too lazy I'll more likely just copypaste an old one cause none of you read my myspace blog.

HAH.

Fruit Stripe Gum

I found basically the equivalent to thathere in Japan. Mint Blue. It's delicious for 4 seconds and then it loses the taste, but you keep chewing it for like an hour out of principle.

Also I ate cottage cheese by accident. I feel dirty.

I have to wake up tomorrow at like EIGHT IN THE MORNING, which is a time I had forgot existed for a period of about 9 months now. Woe is me. I need to go do my alien registration (doko wa boku no U.F.O. dane?) and then I have to take the mandatory *FREE* health exam. Where I have to be told I'm fat for being a foreigner and pee in a cup, then they stab me with tuberculosis or something. I ALREADY GOT MY TB SHOT. But apparently if you got it already you're supposed to still get this because it double checks that you got it. Yes Japan, that is logical. I'm sure your double dosage of vaccines won't render me crippled in the least. Bring it on, Murphy's Law.

Rule of thumb, check my blog around noonish AMERICAN time. If I haven't updated by then, chances are I'm not going to. Considering most people aren't awake until the sun is directly overhead (or maybe that's just me?) this probably won't be a problem for anyone. But if anyone has been hitting refresh for hours on end for some ungodly reason, desperate to hear about the Incredible Misadventures of Roshi (which was almost my blog title, pray to Thor for thanks). I've got a vaguely updated Twitter and an RSS feed in the bottom right hand corner down there for anyone who really gives a damn.

I finally wandered a bit further today too, cause people keep bugging me to. I came across people selling pork buns and I got the last one for 120 yen AND IT WAS SO GOOD. Made me sad that there weren't any more after I ate it.

Also: HUMMINGBIRDS. I couldn't figure out what they were for a minute cause they were bright orange and flitting back and forth really fast. But I got really close and they're so cute. I wanted to catch one but I thought I'd break it's wings. Also I don't have flowers in my room so it'd pretty much die. Also, pretty sure I can't have pets. So that'd be bad too.

Despite being prettier, pennies in Japan are just as worthless as they are in America. Vending machines take silver change, dagnabbit! Oh well. I'm still pinchin' them unless UB decides to gimme the rest of my money sometime soon. Bugger.

For all three of you who've managed not to see it, I leave you again with a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsLTOvmNLHs

(Yes I'm aware I can embed videos in my blogs)





(Go eat a dick.)

Gomenasai. Gyuunyuu ga arimasen deshita.

Screw you Co-op, I want cereal. How can you run out of milk anyways? It's like 7 dollars a pint.

I'm stuck eatin school lunches and ramen anyways til more of my school funds come through. I've gotta pay my dorm fees for this semester. The guy in charge seemed upset but willing to work with me. Guess I went against the Japanese code of unquestionably with the rules. At least they're nice enough to not kick me out of the country for this. Unlike everything else (if you break any of the rules in the handbook you get evicted from the AP Haus. No joke.)

I ate an entire loaf of bread today that cost me 1.12. So good. It had like, butter injected into it. It was one of those "gourmet loaves" so it wasn't an ENTIRE loaf of bread. Also, don't eat Indian food with chopsticks. It just...doesn't work. Hands or a spoon, spork it if you got it.

The dorm payment means it'll be a little longer before I get my camera, so no pics in the blog still. Or at least nothing that I can't get in front of my laptop (without bringing the laptop around with me. Unless there is something REALLY AWESOME TO SEE. But the weather isn't reporting any Godzilla attacks for a good while, so I doubt it.)

Nothing to do tomorrow which is good. I need to start sleeping earlier though. I didn't wake up til 10 today and I had a ... thing to go to at 10:30. library thing. Then right after a course registrar thing.

Which were both orientations they gave me when I came in late to campus. I'm not exactly sure why I was told to go to them by the same guy who briefed me on it in the first place. Oh well, now it's double pounded into my brain and there was this Japanese fellow who sat next to me named Fumi or something along those lines. I have to start paying attention to what people say when they introduce themselves or something, honestly. The only names I remember so far are Max, Steve, and Andrew.

Also, when I was cooking the don't-eat-this-soup-with-chopsticks in the microwave, some guy (Who I'm pretty sure is the guy next door. He said he was room 125 but.. there are two of those. We'll see.) started talking to me about HOW AWESOME America is, and how its cool its cool he like American music and classic American show like Everybody Love Raymond. I laughed silently to myself at this reverse-weeaboo of a man, amused by the fact that he spent hours watching our sitcoms online like so many American teens do with Asian tv. It'd be ironic if our stuff wasn't worth watching.

I feel obligated to post a picture:



Before you ask me "Why do you have Pokemon hanging from your light pullstring?" I'm going to tell you that I don't.

Because that string doesn't turn the light on and off.

It just comes out of the ceiling.

For no apparent reason.

Tell your friends

Apparently I should pay more attention to who wanted to keep updated on what I'm doing in Japan. I've had complaints from multiple people saying they didn't know I even had a blog. My bad.

Anyways Day 3. I should probably stop updating every day, but we'll see. When I have more to do I'll limit it. But for now let me just go into excruciating detail on my daily routine in Japan.

Freaking addicted to this karamuucho hot Chili potato sticks. Nom.

Also, til about 2 o clock this afternoon everything was cancelled.

Like being outside.

We got hit with a typhoon and had a severe lightning warning, so they made like 6 announcements over the loudspeaker telling us to keep our asses indoors. Apparently being on top of a mountain during a thunderstorm is bad for your health: who knew?

That was the main slice of Japanese life for today though. My speaking is getting better as I'm getting more used to talking to people with a different language. Mostly just workers still, I've only made a handful of aquaintances, and most of those are American or Dutch (yeah, that's right - they have windmills on their clothing).

Also? Dinner was awesome today. This chicken tokki yaki or something like that. Chicken Breast made in this awesome sauce, and came with potato wedges. Allegedly Japanese because this wasn't in the international cafe. Yeah, whatever. Also Royal milk tea is only 110 yen. And get this - produced by Coca Cola? Why don't we get this awesome stuff back home! I think I'm starting a petition to get them to produce the stuff in America. Market it as Coke Brand Flavored Iced Tea. I'd buy it by the gallon, or the liter, or the barrel; whatever they sell that shit in.

I forgot that I had pokemons with me. I wanted SOMETHING in my room and these were squishy and unbreakable, so I've got a pachirisu plushie and a turtwig plushie in my room now. God I'm so gay.

One last thing, cause I don't feel like writing too much right now. For anyone who comes to Japan, keep track of how much money you're spending. YOU GO THROUGH IT SO FAST. The smallest bill they make is the 1000 yen bill, which is ten dollars. But since its the smallest bill you carry a bunch around with you, and you tend to spend them all without thinking due to this. Along the lines of "Oh hey, that's only 700 yen? Yep I've got a bill here why not". And all the rest of the money below that is change, 500 and 100 yen coins. Being American I have little respect for coins and spend these like they're candy (you come up with a better analogy)

Oh well, a little more debt can't hurt.

Edit: ONE MORE THING! Before I forget, here's two videos for you. The first one is awesome cause it's awesome, the second one is awesome because I say it's awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrenvX71Dzw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQN3JIxH0_s

And to anyone who already listens to Clazziquai Project, I'm sorry for being behind the times.

Day number two at APU

Was basically me sitting around my room. I'm still pretty sore from all the airport stuff so I'm spending today to rest it off.

I did get my first slice of Japanese culture today though (Funny, third day in Japan and its just now hitting me, eh?). There was a flea market this morning where I was told I could purchase goods for cheap for my room. Fair enough, I've been to a flea market before. Lines of crappy goods in various degrees of usability for cheaper prices than new but more cost than they're worth. Right?

Wrong.

I get there and they have a gate set up. There is a crowd of people outside the gate watching everybody set their stuff up for display. The spectators were crawling back and forth around the perimeter, eyeing up their targets for when they were unleashed upon the innocent merchants. When the gate finally opened I swear to god I heard a gunshot and the sound of hooves.

Pretty much something like this.

These people RACED directly for the merchandise and what was a seemingly normal group of people became a sweaty, heaving, mass of yelling, shoving asians and us poor unfortunate whiteys who had no idea what was going on. I was quite literally forced to dry hump a Korean girl who was bent over picking out flatware for her room due to the amount of people that were shoving me from behind. Girl didn't even seem to care, but I felt like I should have slipped her a 500 yen coin or something for her troubles.

Anyhow, in the midst of all that, I managed to escape with a bowl, a mug (that is most likely not microwave safe but it looks neat), and my life. Also this other American guy from the crowd (who basically shared my not in Kansas anymore surprise at the carnage) was waiting for me outside the brawl. Name is Max and we grabbed some lunch and he helped me figure out what the crap I was doing in the area. Told me some stuff about Beppu, how to act around people, that sort of thing. I really need to practice my Japanese apparently, after watching him work.

So I did, and then when I went back to get dinner by myself later everyone spoke in English to me.

Goddamn you fate.

Anyways, food is cheap here when its not from a vending machine. I got a fish and rice and green tea meal for 2.50. Beat that, America. On the other hand I spent 1.50 on a gatorade, and another two dollars on more pop to stock my fridge with (Mountain Dew and this delicious shit called C.C. Lemon).

Going to look into paying off my school stuff either tomorrow or monday, figure out what this crap they sent me in my mailbox was, and hopefully figure out where I stand financially. Then I'll be able to buy a digital camera that's not attached to my computer and share some pictures of cool stuff around here.

Stardate something.something.pancakes

Man I miss pancakes.

That probably doesn't make sense....

Well I wanted to get pancakes before I left for Japan.

And, well, I forgot.

Damn.

Oh well.

I should probably say something about Japan.

Well, flying sucks. That's one thing. I'm going to say this: I'm not one of those people with the "Speak the language or get the double F outta my country" but I will say that if you work in an international airport, then you should fluently speak the two languages that the majority of your flyers do.

I know Japanese enough to ask them questions and have them point to things though, so I managed to get through that way. The guys that they left to meet with me collectively knew less English than my baby cousin though, so that was irritating.

Ah well, hopefully I'm speaking fluent Japanese when I fly again so this won't be a problem. Or at least fluent enough to explain to them when I ask where to pick up my baggage.

To anyone who I said I'd lose weight being in Japan: I lied.

So far I've had a can of C.C. Lemon that only has 40 calories and has vitamin c in it.

But for 25 yen cheaper I can get a 32oz can of Mountain dew. And then use that extra 25 yen to go buy this... this... W roll concoction and eat it.





Oh well. I think I'll join the taekwando and kyudo clubs. I think it's called Kyudo. Japanese archery. Looks badass and there is nobody in it really. 15 people, so it'll be easy to meet friends.

Which you'd think I wouldnt have a problem with, what with the 12 or so people that have come up and just randomly introduced themselves. Too bad I can't remember any of their names (aside from my RA but he's the Avatar as far as I'm concerned).

I had more things to say. I did, I really did. I think I flunked the japanese proficiency test but that doesn't really matter cause apparently I could enroll in the native fluency courses if I want. The proficiency test is just a suggestion of where you should enroll. Woohoo.

I need to find a place that sells digital cameras cause I can't get them on campus. When I do there will be photos of more than just my snacks. Like the campus. Oh god is it pretty. So pretty I wrote it a little song:

On top of some mountains
All covered in trees
I came to Oita
To learn Japanese

The first test was real hard
I think I have failed.
But if I try real hard
In the end I'll prevail

The people are nice here
The soda is cheap
The weather is so hot
I think I could weep.

This song is real crappy
I think you'll admit
But, hey look right at me
See if I give a

Song ends there cause I'm too lazy.

Lemme know how much you hate the blog name. If enough people hate it I'll change it. This is on an alt e-mail account anyways so hurrah.