Linguistic Misinterpretations

Apparently a Dutch Oven is a legitimate cooking term. Who woulda thunkit.

Today's plans were enacted quite elegantly. Woke up on time, showered, ate breakfast (fried chicken is breakfast, right? I ran out of churros. Which are also breakfast. If you're Spanish. Shut up.) went to class, went to other class. Other class let out early, so I had plenty of time to grab everything and go to the bank while it was still open. In fact, I took EXTRA things to make sure this time. It's redundant to carry an alien registration card AND a passport, but I did it anyways, dammit.

So everything is going peachy getting the passbook and all that. My Japanese is surprisingly capable and I manage to explain that I am an exchange student and therefore have no need for their feeble dorm payment plan (except in Japanese, so it sounded like I was apologizing and promising to commit suicide the whole time). Then I asked if she can exchange my AMERIKAN DORU and she said okay, then I figured I'd test out my magic passbook and withdraw the money I just put into my account.

Except hey, check this out. Apparently American Dollars are worthless because my account read exactly zero (no more no less). So I was very confused and went in to try to complain in Japanese (this is where things get tricky. Keep reading, I punch a woman in the face).

I go in and tell the clerk that I don't know how to use the machine. Cause I'm almost positive I'm doing it entirely wrong. So she gets someone who speaks English (No...not really.) to come help me. Because her English is so broken we end up speaking in Japanese but with English nouns. Which is....actually fairly similar to regular Japanese, actually. Hurray cultural diffusion! Anyways, it went something like this:

Me: I don't know how to use the ATM.
Lady: Here, I'll show you.
Me: kay.
Her: Alright and.... you have nothing in here.
Me: Really?
Her: Really. Did you want to Deposit?
Me: I did
Her: You did?
Me: I did
Her: Where is it?
Me: I don't know.
Her: Do you want to depost?
Me: I gave my american doru to the lady at the counter.
Her: Really?
Me: Really.

::walk walk walk::

Her: He gave you American money?
Clerk: Yes
Her: It's not in his account
Clerk: Did he put it in?
Her: He gave it to you.
Clerk: That's right.
Me: I want my money
Her: Okay. One moment please.

::goes into the back room. Grabs the slip of paper I handed in and a pile of money::

Her: Okay. Let's put it in manually
Me: kay.
Her: Coins can't go into the machine though. So we can only use bills.
Me: Really?
Her: Really.

And that's about that.

So I got back on the bus in time to go to campus and eat some Janbo Chickin Katsu no Tamago Toji. I still don't know what it is but I think it's my favorite food ever.

Rest of the day was lame. After all that hassle at the bank I managed to forget to draw enough money for the rest of the night and ended up only having enough for french fries for dinner, because I got to the ATM THREE MINUTE SLATE. Seriously. Wow.

Ah well, another day another doru (Yeah, I'm aware it was never funny. And if you're wondering about the woman I punched in the face, it was in a video game. Sorry to let you all down.)